Two Things ...

First, according to godFreako on the QVC message boards, the big, pave hoops from the Diamonique commercial that I've been drooling over will be sold for ... drum roll, please ... $248.12!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Has QVC lost their minds? Two hundred and fifty dollars for CZ and silver ... for real? Is this supposed to be a joke? That must be a helluva a lot of platinum that they're plating on those earrings.

Y'all know how much I love my fake diamonds and I've been hunting for a big pair of pave hoops for a while now, so I was primed and ready with my wallet open and credit card in hand to buy those earrings tonight, but there is no number of Easy Pays that can make up for a ridiculous price tag like that. And for once I don't even care about free shipping. That price is just insulting.

Maybe they will realize the enormous error of their ways before tonight ... the Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise!

Second, the TSV--Keurig Ultimate Coffee Brewer w/ 54 K-Cups & My K-Cup Filter--is a rocking deal. Mr. Queen Bea wanted to get me a new coffee maker for Christmas and I do believe I have helped him find it!

My Bunn, which was supposed to last forever, now leaks more coffee than it makes. Although I'm sad and disappointed in my Bunn, I'm pretty sure that I can drink my sorrows away with this little baby.

The reviews are almost uniformly glowing (the naysayers seem to expect their own personal tree-hugging Starbucks barista to pop out of the machine to make their morning brew) and I can't find a better price. Plus you get 54 K-Cups, a coupon for more coffee of your choice, half-price shipping, and the K-Cup filter so you can use whatever coffee you want with it. And did I mention the 5 Easy Pays?

At least someone at the Q still has a clue. Oh! And I forgot to mention one of the best benefits of this coffee maker--watching the already hyper hosts get juiced up on caffeine all day!

So, when all is said and done, at least I will have a tasty cup of coffee to sip while I fume over my hoops (and they are mine even if they aren't technically in my possession).

Literally, Have an Amazing, Amazing Turkey Day!

My in-laws are here and I've got a Butterball in the oven, y'all!

I've been shopping, chopping, cooking, cleaning, and baking for days now and I'm now officially over it.

Mr. Queen Bea requested homemade apple and chocolate pecan pies, which took hours to make and bake on Tuesday night. Yesterday I worked all day to make all the sides plus I made a turkey for a friend (between her kids, grandkids, and foster kids, she has roughly twenty rugrats running around the house at any given time, so trust me when I say that she needs the help!)

I decided to try brining my turkey this year to avoid the usual tasteless, sawdusty sorry excuse for a bird. So I ended up with a 15-pound turkey soaking in salty water sitting on my porch all night--ahhh, the magic of the holidays. Hopefully it works out like Alton Brown says it will and I don't send everyone to the hospital (yes, I watch too much Food Network this time of year!)

Thanks so much for stopping by and I'll be back to posting soon!

O/T: Are Message Boards Fun or Just Plain Dumb?

Dumb opinions, stupid questions, and blatant rumors ... Here's a new question for y'all to mull over this Thanksgiving week: the message boards-- Love 'em? Hate 'em? What do you think about them?

Do you like to lurk or throw in your two-cents worth? Is it a good place to find the latest news or get a question answered? Do you like reading the product reviews and opinions?

Have you made any friends? Does it go beyond chatting about the latest eye liner or is it just a casual online group of acquaintances?

Have you found yourself on the outside of a clique? Do you have to suck up to the clique's powers-that-be to get noticed (a la Mean Girls)?

Have you found yourself in the middle of a heated argument? Or maybe just spreading some nasty rumors?

What do you think about Big Brother Webbie monitoring and poofing "inappropriate" threads? Speaking of inappropriate thread, my favorite thread of all time was titled something like, "Do you shave your cat?" It was laugh-out-loud spit-your-coffee-onto-the-monitor funny! Some of the ladies were discussing shaving their beloved kitty-cat, while others were talking about shaving their pussy-cat, which is a very different animal!

Email me your thoughts at homeshoppingqueen@gmail.com. I can't wait to hear from you!

I'm Making a List, Checking it Twice

So I've been working diligently on my home shopping Christmas list for this year. Unfortunately, it's hard to remember all the multitudes of people that I'm supposed to be buying presents for ... at least according to those very generous TV hosts. In fact, they seem to be quite enthusiastic about purchasing inappropriate and expensive gifts for every casual acquaintance and service professional that they kinda sorta know.

And just in case you accidentally overlook getting a special gift for your dental hygienist, you need to be sure to have several items tucked away in a gift drawer (or a gift closet if you're lucky).

You can never have too many Valerie Parr Hill scented soy candles with coordinating gift bags, you know!

Now let's see if I forgot anyone ...

cat groomer

dog walker

babysitter

meter reader

crossing guard

kid's teacher

cafeteria lady

nail technician

mail carrier

hair dresser

Did I forget someone? Please let me know soon! That Countdown to Christmas clock is tick-tick-ticking away!

ShopNBC at the Grundy County Auction

Looks like after seven years of never turning a profit, ShopNBC is going on the auction block!

Just this week, ValueVision Media said they have received bids from several different parties who want to buy some or all of ShopNBC. They plan on making a decision within the next few months.

So just how bad is business getting for ShopNBC?

It's so bad that you can buy their stock from the Dollar Menu at McDonald's now.

"Revenue plunged 32% in the third quarter to $124.8 million and net losses more than tripled to $20.8 million on a 27% decline in volume and a 12% dip in the average price of items sold. This is after a 26% decline in revenue in the second quarter."

“As you can see from the results, ShopNBC experienced a very difficult third quarter,” CEO John Buck said on the conference call. “With our third quarter results and our stock price below $1, I can only imagine how frustrated and concerned you are, as we are. This is unacceptable.”

We can only hope that some monied investor (just ask Lisa Robertson how to spot one of those "monied" folks!) will take a fancy to ShopNBC like John Michael Montgonery took a shine to that pretty lady at the Grundy County Auction ...



And I said
Hey pretty lady won't you give me a sign
I'd give anything to make you mine all mine
I'll do your biddin' and be at your beck and call
Yeah I've never seen anyone lookin' so fine
Man I gotta have her
She's a one-of-a-kind
I'm goin' once, goin' twice
I'm sold to the lady in the second row
She's an eight, she's a nine, she's a ten I know
She's got ruby red lips blonde hair blue eyes
An' I'm about to bid my heart good-bye

--"Sold," John Michael Montgomery

She's Ba-aaack

After a short but "interesting" run selling jewelry on QVC, Paula Abdul is back--this time on HSN, just like I predicted in this post. No, I'm no psychic like John Edward. I just know that these vendors almost always pop up again on a competing home shopping channel. It's like one big game of home shopping vendor Whack-A-Mole.

Her new "Forever Your Girl" collection will include "colorfully chic and unique" jewelry, handbags, and keepsake accessories--not that it matters what she's selling. With Paula, it's all about the entertainment. I mean, has she ever really provided much in the way a discernible critique on American Idol in all that slurred Paula-rambly-speak? Noooooo ... but she sure can be interesting to watch, can't she?

Who else can judge a performance before it's ever given??? Only Paula. So there's no telling what she'll say or do on HSN. Pass out? Strip? Dance on the table? Speak in tongues? Who knows! You'll have to check out Paula on December 13th and 14th to find out.

Her Name was Lola ...

... she was a showgirl ...

Have I mentioned that I'm a Fanilow? Oh, yes I am! And I don't care who knows it. I came out of the Barry-Manilow-fan closet years ago, which is way more then I can say about Mr. Manilow. He seems to be rather fond of the closet.

... with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there...

I've even seen him in concert. I'll admit it. I had a good time too. He might be cheesy, but in a totally awesome way. My mother even got to sit on stage at his concert in Las Vegas. I come from a long line of proud, yet still somewhat embarrassed, Fanilows.

... She would merengue and do the cha-cha ...

There's nothing better than cranking up "Mandy" on the car stereo and belting it at the top of your lungs and completely out of key.

... And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar Across the crowded floor, they worked from 8 til 4 ...

So, I have an appointment to watch Barry on the Q tomorrow night and I can't wait. He writes the songs, you know!

... They were young and they had each other, Who could ask for more?

Copacabana Now:


Copacabana 1978(!):

"I'm a QVC Whore"

I just love this guy! He captures that moment--you know the one--when you get that special surprise package from the UPS man. And while you just can't wait to open it, you almost try to extend the excitement a little. It's the best part ... like Christmas morning without having to deal with your family. Can it get any better???



Be sure to check out his full collection of "I'm a QVC Whore" on You Tube!

Oh, and Chris, I don't think you're a whore at all. With all the that expensive stuff you require, you are most definitely a high class call girl! :-P

Shopping Around ... Of No Relation

Doesn't this actress, Camilla Belle, look like she could be Lisa Robertson's little sister? Maybe it's just the eyebrows. I don't know. (Thanks to MK for the tip!)

A little much-needed perspective … the QVC layoff story as seen through the eyes of the local paper of the lucky city getting to add 200 new QVC jobs. At least someone will be employed and happy.

A great story about a mother who will soon be getting her shot to sell her product, My Little Weatherbuddy, on the Q.

Here’s a stylist’s take on Dennis Basso … it involves real fur costs, bikini models, and pot. Oh, and she likes the fake fur he sells on the Q. I would never buy real fur, so that's good to know.

Cute story of a 100-yr old woman named Beatrice Patten that loves to shop at HSN. Her secret for longevity? Reducing stress!

Rami Kashou, another Project Runway alum, is working on line for HSN. What a rebel. Doesn’t he know that all the cool Project Runway kids are at the Q?

Mark Cross is set to relaunch on QVC. I’m sure I’m supposed to know who this is, but I honestly have no idea.

FYI: If you're even considering getting those crab cakes on QVC today, you really need to read this first. Somethin' smells fishy with those Maryland-style crab cakes!

ShopNBC "Frustrating, Boring, No Growth"

I just read an extremely detailed analysis of ShopNBC purely from a business perspective from Jae Jun at SeekingAlpha.com. Yes, it’s long and filled with lots of numbers and bulleted points, but it's most definitely worth a read.

So what does he think of the bang-up job that ShopNBC management has been doing?

“From the current state of the company, I can only deduce that management is not in touch with the operations of the business. To get to the point where the company is worth less than its office building is just astonishing.”

They are a talented bunch, aren’t they?

But surely there must be a company or growth strategy, right?. Here is what the quarterly report had to say:

optimize mix of product categories offered on television and the internet in order to appeal to a broader population of potential customers

continue the growth of the internet business through the innovative use of technology and marketing efforts

obtain cost-effective distribution agreements for our television programming with cable and satellite operators, as well as pursuing other means of reaching customers such as through webcasting, internet videos and internet-based broadcasting networks

increase the productivity of each hour of television programming by focusing on ways to maximize margin dollars per hour and increase the number of customers within the households

enhance our television broadcast quality, programming, website features and customer support

leverage the strong recognition of the NBC brand name

change the product mix to focus on the female, repeat-purchaser core customer. Reduce high ticket items such as electronics that drives one time customers, but not repeat business.

Of the six strategies, I am dismissing all of them but the last one. I could be blind, but I don’t see anything that Amazon, Google, Home Shopping Network or any other retailer hasn’t already done.

In a nutshell, he thought that ShopNBC was, “Frustrating, boring, no growth.” Amen!

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I do believe that I’ve been preaching about this ad nauseam. Check out my most recent rant here. I swear, if the powers-that-be at ShopNBC would just read my blog, they’d save themselves a ton of money in over-priced consultants and revolving CEO’s.

What's funny is that they say one thing in their quarterly report and the complete opposite elsewhere:

"[ShopNBC] concluded that customers were interested in computers and electronics by testing promotions of such items on its TV shopping shows and web site, Kulesza says. The retailer promoted the event through e-mail and online search and affiliate advertising, pitching it as an opportunity to preview items that are likely to make good holiday gifts."

Since they can't keep their stories straight, I'm beginning to think that there is quite a bit of in-fighting amongst competing factions within ShopNBC. There is no unifying strategy or vision for the company.

On a side note, here's a blog from a former ShopNBC producer looking for work. He has an interesting take on what it takes to make successful home shopping television:

A unique blend of infomercial and reality programming. Motivating viewers to action. I've often classified it as the third form of tv production. Of course there's news, which is informative television. There's couch potato tv, which is pretty much 80% of television. All entertainment type shows. Sit-coms, dramas, entertainment news, reality shows... mind numbing dribble which might make you laugh or cry or feel something, but most often just time wasting entertainment, and then there's motivation tv... aka home shopping. Trying to entice the viewer to pick up the phone, reach into their wallets and spend money.

Jewelry Television Slashes More Jobs

Jewelry Television is laying off thirty IT employees. The employees were told on Wednesday that their positions were being eliminated.

Between QVC and JTV, 11/12/08 has become the Black Wednesday for the home shopping channels.

These layoffs come after JTV eliminated approximately 150 jobs this past May and more are possible into the first quarter of 2009 as they "adjust to a national downturn in jewelry sales."

Here are a few of the posted comments posted on the Knoxville area website (where JTV is located). Do you think that people are angry?

hey, guys to let you know, the show hosts make more than $200K a year while their customer service reps make $10 a year with no raises or bonus.

This company has friviously spent money like it's going out of style, for example, the new call center(which i hear they didn't even need since there was nothing wrong with the old one) cost them over $100K, the new cubilces were over $100K (they weren't needed) Then the company laid off over 200 claiming that it was necessary with the economy the way it is, then they spent over $1mil on relocating the set. The show hosts lie through their teeth 24/7 in order to light up the phones, then the call center agents are the ones having to apologize for theri lies, they laid off some really good show hosts and kept trash. for example, they let Valerie, Leah, Jeanine and a few others go and brought back Heidi(the poster girl for useless people) can anyone say "train wreck?" Then there's Wendy, Mrs. Monotone, and Mandy the one that screams on the air, then there's Misty, the one that's nasal all the time and don't forget about Scott and couldn't tell the truth even if he tried. The company will be out of business very soon. and these poor people that have been lied to, and cheated out of their raises and bonuses checks will be S.O.L.

JTV had alot of lay offs in the summer then turned around and hired new call center people. Sounds to me like they were trying to weed anyone out that was making more money or that had insurance. I understand that come the first of the year anyone with insurance will have to pay 100% of their insurance so what are they losing. This company has wronged its employees from the get go. Maybe they need to start at the top cut there and get a dose of humility and remember its the people out here that keep them going and their faithful employees.

So heres my question...why does JTV still own a over $14,000,000 Hawker 800 Private Jet?

JTV neglects to tell you that they have started outsourcing customer service jobs to a Florida based company. Also, subcontracting customer service jobs to home based people. So JTV is not telling the media or its employees the truth. They lie once again. Thank you JTV for a Merry Christmas. Thank you for adding more stress to our economic situation. JTV does not want Knoxville and the world to know that the management are snakes in the grass and using thier associates thru Christmas, to let them go after thier busy season. Thier management just smiles and says everything is ok. I am sure they make $100,000 a year.

Mental Health Break with Jeanne Bice

With all the terrible news coming out today, I thought we could all use a little pick-me-up courtesy of Jeanne Bice ...

DeMentri Claims "consensual, mutual romantic affiliation"

According to Philly.com, here's the latest on QVC host Pat James DeMentri's ex-husbands crazy antics:

Lori Delgado says she quit her anchor's job at NBC10 last month because she feared for her safety and that of her husband after her former coanchor Vince DeMentri had acted threateningly toward them, according to documents filed yesterday in Common Pleas Court.

The filing included documents from DeMentri in which he described a 2 1/2-year relationship with Delgado as "consensual, mutual romantic affiliation." She did not address that assertion.

Delgado's statement came in her response to a court filing by DeMentri, who is contesting his firing in late July in what is expected to be a libel and slander action against NBC10.

In addition, DeMentri's attorney, Paul Rosen of Spector Gadon & Rosen, contends that NBC10 and Delgado interfered with DeMentri's contract.

Asked about Delgado's safety concerns,DeMentri said last night: "This is nothing but a smokescreen. What is alleged is laughable and an outright lie."

In July, DeMentri filed a gender-discrimination complaint with the state Human Relations Commission. In it, he alleges that he was fired because the station had learned that he and Delgado had an affair.

DeMentri said in the HRC complaint that NBC10 unfairly fired him while not sanctioning Delgado. DeMentri also alleges that the station leaked false information about him to the media.

DeMentri, 44, worked at NBC10 for five years and coanchored its myphl newscast on Channel 17 with Delgado from December 2005 through September 2006. Delgado, 28, who started at the station in January 2005, most recently anchored the morning news on NBC10. She was last seen on the air Sept. 26.

DeMentri's HRC complaint says that someone at the station leaked an item to an unnamed gossip Web site. The Aug. 22 item linked DeMentri to acts of vandalism against Delgado, including the keying of her car in June.

The HRC complaint says that DeMentri and Delgado's affair ended in May, and that the two remained friends.

According to Delgado's court response, filed yesterday by Eric Weitz of Weitz Garfinkle & Datz, Delgado experienced hang-ups on her home and cell phones in the spring. On June 6, personal items vanished from her office. Three days later, her driver's license and house keys were missing, and Lower Merion police investigated.

A few weeks later, Delgado found a shopping bag containing the items under her desk. Also in June, she discovered that her car had been scratched. NBC10 investigated and began suspecting DeMentri, Weitz's filing says.

Delgado says she was told that DeMentri was seen on videotape "indicating his likely participation in the incidents." Rosen said DeMentri was not shown keying Delgado's car.

On July 3, an NBC security official told police that "criminal mischief" had been done to Delgado's car, according to a police report that listed DeMentri as a suspect. The complaint was investigated July 8 and closed when Delgado refused to cooperate with police.

Rosen said that if police had seen such actions on a tape, Delgado's cooperation would not be required to file charges.

Delgado said in yesterday's filing that although DeMentri had been instructed not to contact her, he confronted her and her husband, Rich McNally, a lawyer, at their home. DeMentri said last night that no one had told him to stay away from her.

Delgado and McNally, who married in June 2006, have since moved to New York.

Attorneys for NBC did not return calls for comment. Regarding the litigation, a station spokeswoman said: "The station disputes Mr. DeMentri's allegations and intends to vigorously defend any claims. The notion that WCAU would trump up baseless charges against its own anchor is ridiculous."

For a crazy stalker guy, Vince isn't very creative. Hang-up calls? Puh-leeze! Little kids do that at slumber parties! Taking her keys and then putting them back under her desk in a bag? How lame!

Although by all accounts he appears to be a spoiled, self-centered, horny bastard, he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he???

Honestly, I feel sorry for Pat and her daughter. For their sakes, I hope this all blows over quickly.

Layoff Update: QCard to Blame?

More information about the recent layoffs at QVC via The Consumerist website:

A reader who would like to remain anonymous, described the layoff process in an email to Consumerist.

As I understand it, security escorted each ex-worker back to his/her desk, where they collected their keys and pocketbook, etc. They were not allowed to get anything else, and must return at a later time when the building is primarily empty to collect the rest of their belongings.

We suppose that's how it goes when you work in a huge vat of jewelry.

The layoffs are being blamed on QVC's credit card division, which is experiencing more defaults.

In late October, Liberty Media said third-quarter profits dropped at its QVC home-shopping unit as the credit crunch slowed consumer spending and more customers missed payments on QVC-issued credit cards.

Some 27 percent of QVC sales are paid for with the company-issued credit cards, George said.

"People are struggling," [Mike George, QVC's president and CEO] said. "QVC will be more careful, more conservative when opening up new Q-Card accounts."

I have to wonder if the Q is going to continue to push the QCard all the time or if they're going to lay off for a while?

And on another note entirely, is it even legal for QVC security to prevent employees from even gathering up their own property???

They Speak with a Forked Tongue

QVC laid off approximately 160 employees yesterday--everything from vice-presidents to producers to call center workers. Apparently, no one knew this was coming until they showed up for work (although I would bet there were lots of rumors floating around). Here's a link to coverage of the story from their local news.

And the bad news keeps coming for the small town of West Chester. QVC is planning to shut down the entire call center and eliminate 900 jobs over the next 14 months as it shifts sales and distribution to facilities in Virginia, South Carolina, Texas and Florida.

Let me translate this for you: they are getting rid of everyone at a facility that has been there for twenty-some-odd-years so that they can move their operations to locations where the wages are cheaper in general and they don't have people with seniority (i.e. higher pay and more benefits) to deal with.

I live in the South, I know how it works down here. The only reason companies move here is for the cheap labor and loosey-goosey labor laws.

On the bright side, they do plan on adding about 200 new jobs in these cheaper locations. And they believe that they will "improve customer service" by supporting a new work-from-home model.

This is where the tongue forks, my friends.

No, you do NOT improve customer service by getting rid of experienced employees that are invested in your company. And, NO, you do NOT improve customer service by getting rid of 700 employees! Who do they think they are kidding?

Here's what King George, President of the Q, had to say about this horrible turn of events: "I had hoped we could avoid layoffs as we pursued our long-term growth strategies, but after witnessing the continuing deterioration in the economy, I came to the reluctant conclusion that this was not going to be possible."

Hey, times are hard. I understand. QVC's sales have been going down. In fact, their revenue last quarter was off 3% to only $1.64 billion--that's with a "B." Sad, isn't it?

But there's some great news for those call center employees who haven't been fired just yet: they get to work through the holiday season before being handed their pink slip! Yippy! Isn't that great? QVC is going to let their experienced employees carry them through the busy holiday season before canning them.

Although I have to say that I am a bit confused since I thought getting rid of all those people was actually going to improve customer service? Strange how that works.

I'd like to advise all those employees who got the boot yesterday or whose heads are now on the chopping block to first, rent "Office Space." You need and deserve a good laugh. And, second, when you get a chance, email me your thoughts (homeshoppingqueen@gmail.com). I assure you that will keep any identifying information private.

I wish all these employees the best of luck. My heart goes out to you.

I will leave you with some words of wisdom from Milton from Office Space, "And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "

Runway to the Q

The guys at Project RunGay decided that Laura Bennett needed her gays for support to get through her QVC show the other night. They also managed to get some great behind-the-scenes pics while they were there. I just love getting a look backstage!

Here's Laura posing with hostess extraordinaire, Lisa Robertson. By the looks of the two of them, I'm guessing that piling on lots of long necklaces is the trend now. Am I right? I'll have to break out my Vogue to make sure. Not that I can pull off the look anyway. Every time I attempt it, I just manage to look like a chubby white girl Mr. T! Ugh!




Glammed-up Laura with Chloe Dao, another great Project Runway alum. As we all know, the path to QVC runs straight through Project Runway!




And, just in case you've never seen it, this is the Q's lobby. It's ... ummm ... red. Really red.



Be sure to check out the Project RunGay blog for all the dirt, y'all!

"I Love Jesus, but I Drink a Little!"

Speaking of on-air testimonials ... Gladys Hardy needs to be a regular! Talk about entertaining!

One time she called "the QVC" to talk about a lady bug brooch. Don't worry though, she only "drinks a little to thin the blood." I swear, I love this woman more than Paula Deen loves butter!!!

Congratulations Sharon!

QVC host, Sharon Faetsch, recently let everyone in on the good news ... she is pregnant and due on May 7th (after 9 not-so-easy monthly payments, I might add!)

Congratulations Sharon!

Did you know that Sharon was in a movie back in 2000? Oh my goodness, yes! She had a part in "The S.I.N." Here's the plot: Enter the dark realm of politics, and corruption as Private Investigator Bud Chelzer follows clues that lead him to the biggest murder scandal in Las Vegas history.

I wonder if Sharon ever plans to get back into acting?

The Reviews Are In!

I recently asked all you lovely ladies (and gentlemen, of course) for your honest opinion about that time-honored home shopping tradition of on-air testimonials. Boy do y’all have some strong opinions!

What was the overwhelming response? How shall I put this … well, here are just a few quotes. I think you’ll get the picture pretty quickly.


“Dumb, dumb, dumb. Does anyone ever call and say this sucks?”

“I hate them like a Yankee Fan hates the Red Sox.”

“I tune them out or press the mute button. They bore me to death.”

“Hate them. Especially … the death call.”

“These calls are usually painful to listen to. Sometimes these testimonials force me to change the channel or mute the TV...I can't tolerate them.”

“I usually turn the channel when the callers start talking...”

“I dislike callers gushing over the hosts, providing sensitive personal information, saying "Hi" to someone in the next room, or just plain blabbing too much.”


Don’t beat around the bush now, tell me how you really feel!

There were several comments about how the exchanges make the hosts and vendors uncomfortable, to the point that you can’t watch (or at least mute it until the train wreck is over). I have to admit that when a caller starts talking about an illness or death (the oh-so-dreaded “death call”), I will physically dive for the remote control. I just can’t change the channel fast enough!

One reader pointed out the she preferred watching ShopNBC and Jewelry Television because they had few to no on-air testimonials. I wonder if they are doing this on purpose, or they just can’t get anyone to talk to them!

There were complaints all around that they were simply pointless and boring because you already knew ahead of time that the caller was going to rave about the product. As one reader said, “I am always waiting for someone to call up and say how much they DON'T like something or a caller who says that the workmanship on the QVC clothes has gone down hill over the years. Someone who will say how so NOT on trend their clothing is. That would be interesting.”

I have seen a handful of negative calls—although they are few and far between—and the “uncomfortable” factor just shoots through the roof as the host and vendor’s worst fears are realized on live television.

I had a few people tell me that they enjoyed listening to callers when certain vendors, like Joan Rivers and Jeanne Bice, were there because they try to make everything fun and entertaining. I think there is really something to this. It takes a certain type of person to be able to artfully handle off-the-cuff conversations with complete strangers while trying to sell products. This isn’t a skill that most people have. Joan not only is blessed with natural wit, she can also draw from her years of experience dealing with hecklers while doing her stand-up comedy. How many hosts and vendors have that reservoir of experience?

In fairness, there was one positive remark: if the caller asked a relevant question about the product, and the host or vendor gave and informative response, the call is good. This, of course, ties into the new-fangled online questions that QVC is doing, which most of you seemed tentatively optimistic about. I think it has great potential since most of the questions are better and there isn’t a “cringe factor” going on. Maybe they need to spiff it up with some on-air graphics or something. I do think that they’re going in the right direction though.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this one email that made my snarky attitude come crashing down around me. I forget that there are many, many home shopping viewers that are elderly, shut-ins, and lonely people. I forget that they feel like they have a real bond with the hosts and vendors.

“I am vaguely embarrassed by the on-air testimonials on home shopping channels...but I see they fill a need for some women who are lonely and just want to talk to someone and have some attention paid to them. My mother *adores* getting to speak to her favorite hosts and their guests on QVC. She is always talking about them to me like they are her personal friends and how sweet they are...in my cynicism I see how caught up she is while these people could care less. It is only part of their jobs.”

I’m left wondering if these calls are harmless entertainment that provides some level of company or comfort to those that don’t otherwise have it—or—if these people are being horribly manipulated and mistreated into spending their money. I don’t have an answer, but I will leave you with some words of wisdom that this wonderful reader sent me.

“The bigger lesson here is: cultivate your own interests, because you can't count on your children or a home shopping host to be your constant companions. Growing old gracefully means that you have hobbies you enjoy, good friends, and the ability to reach outside yourself to the world around you. I don't want to live my later years with the QVC host as the only person I've talked to all day.”

Patti Reilly is Leaving!

Unless you've been locked inside a Lori Greiner Silver Safekeeper jewelry box for that last month or so, you've heard the rumor that Patti Reilly will be leaving QVC soon.

Have you seen her new website? Check it out here. It's extremely professional and well thought out ... but there's one little thing that they let slip through the cracks.

If you "View Source" on the Enter Site page, guess what shows up???

Some very interesting Meta Tags!!!

Throw a Duck a Bone

Quack! Quack!

In celebration of Jeanne's well-deserved award from "The Soup," here's one of my favorite quacker moments ... those darling duckies are a naughty, naughty bunch, aren't they?




"They look like a bunch of little hard-ons!"


Be sure to catch Jeanne on "The Soup" tonight!

Can You Sell Jewelry On Live Television?

Have you ever pretended to be a home shopping host? If you haven't, just try to do a little sales pitch for something you're wearing today. Go on ... what are you waiting for? Do it!

Just try to talk about whatever it is in an interesting and engaging way for one minute. Just one measly minute.

I'll wait ...

Harder than it seems, isn't it?

Being a host is sorta like being a good politician, you have competing interest groups--management, vendors, producers, customers--all vying for their attention, you have to "let your personality show through" without ever offending anyone or being politically incorrect, you have to be approachable, but still above the fray. Oh, and you need to make sales--lots of them!

This is why I try to cut the hosts a little slack (with the obvious exception of a certain former HSN host), because their job ain't easy, baby.

If you still think that you can master this fine art, checkout this advertisement on Craigslist because The Jewelry Channel is looking for a few good hosts:

The Jewelry Channel, located in the greater Austin/Round Rock area, is looking for freelance hosts to sell fine jewelry on a nationwide, live format.

We have found that people with experience in news, reporting, commercials, infomercials, live tv or public speaking have worked out best for us, but if you think you've got what it takes to get it done, send us an email, along with a head shot or recent photo, and a resume.

We require our freelance hosts to live in the greater Austin area, for they may be called in on quick notice. Freelance hosts normally get their "baptism of fire" by working in the overnights. Truly, you must be willing to work any shift you are assigned to.

Reminder: All applicants must supply a head shot and resume. No exceptions. If you have a show reel, it would be welcomed but not required.

Auditions/interviews will be held at our studios in the Austin/Round Rock area this coming Friday, Nov. 14th beginning at 11am. Our last audition drew 18 freelance hosts, so our slots usually fill up quickly. Please respond quickly, with a time that would work best for you. Auditions usually last about 30 minutes. We will try to accomodate you whenever possible. As you might expect, all appointments are first come, first served.

Since you will be asked to sell at least one item during the audition/interview, it might do you well to watch the network, since we operate on a different format than the conventional TV shopping networks do. We can be seen on Dish Network ch. 218, DirecTV ch. 226 and via our web site at www.tjc.tv.

TJC is a great place to work, with a good bunch of people. Hope to see you soon!


Hmmm ... I thought that they were going out of business ...

The Stars at Night, Are Big and Bright ...

Relios Jewelry (AKA Sincerely Southwest) won the "Emmy" of the home shopping universe: the QStar vendor award--available for 5 Easy Payments--for the third time!

So how does one win the QStar for Merchandising Teamwork? In a nutshell, you need to work super extra hard to drive more sales. Of course, you need to actually be a QVC vendor first.

This year’s 2008 QStar Awards booklet recognizes QVC guest Carolyn Pollack as a person who is “steadfast in her devotion to Relios and QVC… one who has a deep passion for Native American art and Southwestern jewelry." The narrative goes on to say that it’s Carolyn’s “love and appreciation that has established her as an expert of the QVC business model… and it’s her assiduousness that has earned the respect and trust from all who know her."

There are other categories too: Customer Focus, Internet Teamwork, Broadcasting Teamwork, Most Innovative, Operation Excellence, Product Concept, and Rising Star.

I really think that the Q should let the customers pick at least one winner. Come on! We might actually start to care about your special QStar Awards if we actually had a stake in something. Fan Favorite? Customer Choice Award? Queen Bea's Award to the Vendor Most Likely to Give Me Free Samples. perhaps? I like that last one quite a bit actually.

On top of winning awards, Relios is also opening their very first real brick-and-mortar retail store this week.

“Lots of people ask us where to go in Albuquerque to see all the great designs they love from our Sincerely Southwest on QVC or Relios Jewelry.com, and now we have a place where we can direct them. It’s very exciting!” says Pollack. “We can’t show everything we carry on QVC, so in the new store you will discover of hundreds of unexpected finds.”

Honestly, I'm not a big Southwestern jewelry kind of gal, but it's good to see a company succeed that makes their products right here in America--especially in these economic times. I'm giving them my own Queen Bea Home Shopping Award for Best Products Made in the USA!!!

Bargain Hunting Bambi

If this story had a happy ending, this post would be so much more enjoyable to write. But, like Bambi, deer tales rarely come to a good end.

A buck broke through a window at the QVC studio. Apparently there was shattered glass and random destruction. Someone managed to lock it into a an office and call animal control.

Again, if the poor deer came to a good end, I would be all snarky about the deer bargain hunting or something. Oh well.

Sadly. the buck had to be put down due to the injuries it sustained during the whole breaking and entering thing.

So this leaves me with two questions: First, what would drive a deer to work so hard and risk so much just to get into the QVC studios? Second, are the words "deer" and "buck" interchangeable? I sure hope so! I think that buck is a boy deer and deer is the general term, but I could be wrong.

RIP ... QVC Buck ... You will be missed.

If Lovin' You is Wrong Then I Don't Wanna be Right

So, here's the thing, I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma. During Diamonique Week, I ordered this ring. At the time, it was on sale for $22, which ain't too shabby for a $48 ring. And, as you all know, I have a forbidden love of fake diamonds--a love of which I can not speak in public--and I had been wanting a yellow stone for quite some time.

I'm no Jennifer Flavin Stallone, I will never be able to afford an actual canary diamond (of any size and quality that I would be willing to wear anyway). Besides, even if I could afford such outrageous bling, I would have more important things to spend my money on.

After reading the glorious reviews online, I decided to give this particular ring a whirl since the price was right.

And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like waiting for the UPS man carrying a little brown bag filled with something sparkly to get me through the long work day. Just a small something to keep me going.

Here's the thing, the yellow center stone is to die for. Gorgeous! It doesn't have that "fake look" at all. I even tried it in various types of lighting and it never failed to shine. However, the two side stones are terrible. Not only are they cloudy, they have a dead spot, which I believe is due to the way they were set. I might have been able to look past that considering the price, but then the prongs started attacking me and snagging my clothes. Those things are deadly!

Between the dead side stones and the deadly prongs, I have no intention of keeping the damn thing.

But here's where the moral dilemma comes in, do I keep it for a few months just for the fun of the beautiful center stone before sending it back or do I just ship it off now? The return policy does give me until the end of January. Technically I'm not doing anything wrong. In fact the hosts even encourage this behavior all the time!

Why-oh-why does it feel so wrong then?

Do other customers buy products during this extended return period knowing full well that they have no intention of keeping them? ... A home shopping loaner program of sorts.

In defence of keeping the ring longer, I still have to pay shipping. I deserve a little something for my trouble. Don't I???

BTW, the responses to the On-Air Testimonial question have been great! Please keep them coming. I will be posting your reactions soon.

I Need a Second Opinion!!!

I WANT YOU!!!

Stand up and be heard, chickadees! I want to hear from you. I know how fabulous you are and I want your unique perspective--so let your voice be heard!

I'm going to try to have a new topic every week (try being the operative word), so please email me your thoughts. I will be posting some of the most interesting responses.

What do I want to know this week?

On-Air Testimonials … do you love them? hate them? has one ever convinced you to buy something? or just made you change the channel? have you ever done one?

I have some strong opinions on this particular home shopping hot topic, but I'll keep those to myself until I hear from you.

Email me your thoughts on on-air testimonials at homeshoppingqueen@gmail.com

I can't wait to hear from you!!!

Fear not, chickadees, your dirty home shopping secrets are safe with me. I promise that will not post your name or email address.

Goin' Rogue

Yes, chickadees, I saw John McCain on SNL this weekend in all his QVC glory. And I love Tina Fey ... love! love! love!

If you missed it and you consider yourself a home shopping diva, you must check it out!

This isn't a political blog, but I just want to encourage you to please vote tomorrow--no matter the lines, the weather, or the wait. Vote. It's your right and the only real voice you have in this country and, yes, it matters.

And just in case you would like to remember your brave act of patriotism with a beautiful piece of quality jewelry, for only $19.95, Jewelry Television is offering Commemorative Presidential Birthstone Sets exclusively on Tuesday, November 4th (Election Day). Seriously, I kid you not! This isn't a Saturday Night Live skit--this is for reals, y'all!

Joyce Richman, Senior Vice President of Programming at JTV said that they are "planning to keep tabs on which birthstone set is selling best on Tuesday to create a sense of fun and excitement on this historic Election Day."

Here's what you'll get:

Barack Obama/Joe Biden Birthstone Set
Native Hawaiians treasure peridot and refer to the stone as the tears of Pele, a Hawaiian goddess of fire. Peridot is also the birthstone for Democratic Presidential Nominee, Barack Obama, who was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on August 4, 1961. Citrine is the birthstone of Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee, Joe Biden, who was born on November 20, 1942. One of very few naturally occurring yellow gemstones, citrine was traditionally believed to increase clarity and foster a healthy heart.

John McCain/Sarah Palin Birthstone Set
Born August 29, 1936, John McCain's birthstone is the beautiful green peridot. Peridot is mined almost exclusively in the United States including Arizona, where the Republican Presidential Nominee served as a U.S. senator for nearly 20 years. Republican Vice Presidential Nominee, Sarah Palin, was born on February 11, 1964 and enjoys amethyst as her birthstone. Several ancient cultures believe amethyst brings good fortune and protection.

Only in America ... or, as Tim Russert would always say, "What a country!"