Yo Dawg! American Idol gets Pitchy on QVC

Yo, yo, yo ... What's up? What's up? Let me tell ya ... for me, for you ... I don't know, dawg, It was a little pitchy. Not my favorite, but you worked it out.

Queen Bea's worlds are colliding! American Idol alums will soon be on the Q pitching all sorts of completely random paraphernalia like USB flash drives, hoodies, hats, jewelry, and bobble heads. Ummm ... call me crazy, but what about their actual music? You know, American Idol is supposedly a singing competition after all. At least, that's what those bobble-headed judges keep telling us it is!

Last year's cutie patootie winner Kris Allen will make an appearance. Doesn't seem like the best career move at this point, but I guess Simon Cowell needs to make a little extra cash for that big wedding he's planning.

Kimberly Caldwell, who is now more famous for interviewing American Idol contestants on the red carpet and dating David Cook than for being an American Idol contestant herself, is also scheduled to appear. And Queen Bea's least favorite contestant from last season, Danny Gokey, will also be trying to sell something ... although I didn't see eyeglasses on the lineup of products.

Queen Bea's uncensored reaction to this news ...

Amy Stran, QVC's New Kid on the Block

This week, QVC announced that Amy Stran "joined the QVC Program Host Team." I love how they refer to the hosts as a team. Do they play softball against the HSN Technibonders? Was Amy a first-round drat pick?

Here's what the Q had to say about Amy:

"From earliest childhood, Amy knew that she wanted to be a performer. After graduation from the Carver Center for the Arts in Towson, Maryland, she attended Catawba College in Salisbury, North Carolina obtaining a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Theater. Afterward, she toured with a children's theater company based out of Richmond, Virginia. From there she made her way to New York City where she spent six years appearing in plays and on television, including speaking parts on "All My Children" and "One Life to Live." And, as Amy will laughingly tell you, "keeping one foot in the restaurant business." Just prior to coming to QVC, she hosted "Premium TV," a show that promoted premium cable networks.

Amy and her husband Steve have moved from New York to Pennsylvania, a transition they've found surprisingly easy to make, although they're still looking for a good pizza parlor!!"

So it looks like Amy loves the theater, but actually wants to earn a real paycheck for once. Certainly understandable. Plus, I believe her husband is in real estate, an industry that is taking a beating right now.

Here's a link to one of Amy's television jobs. She's pictured in the third TV from top.

But those QVC coaches haven't finished filling out thier rooster yet.

According to blogger and freelance television host, Andi Barness, there were approximately 6,000 applicants for the host job that they hope to fill by next month. (6,000! Wow! I need a good Shawn-ism here ... holy guacamole!) Andi was one of the lucky few who got flown out to LA to meet with some of the Q's talent executives.

I don't know much of anything about Andi, but in her blog post about the QVC audition she writes about how she got all embarrassingly fan girly when she ran into some American Idol contestants at the airport! She even harassed them for a quick picture. Any girl that who stalks American Idol contestants on her way to a QVC host audition is alright by me.

Here she is with Danny Gokey (not my favorite contestant I might add):



Congratulations to Amy! And best of luck to Andi!

Queen Bea Reaches for the Stars

This is the Paula Abdul "Reach for the Stars" ring that Paula took off her own finger and gave to that cackling contestant who we all love to hate, Tatiana, during last night's episode of American Idol. Tatiana already had the coordinating bracelet and Paula wanted her to have the set. Plus, Paula wanted to oh-so-subtly promote her HSN jewelry line to a captive audiance of millions.

If you haven't been following Idol this season, here's a little sample of Tatiana's cheese-grater ways (and don't say I didn't give you fair warning!):



The ring is on sale for only $12.95 and is a customer pick (!). Tatiana has been chosen as the Vote for the Worst favorite so she might be around for a while for that kind of voting block behind her.

I have to confess, the same part of my heart that loves the cheese of home shopping, also adores the cheese of American Idol. I just can't help myself!


I'm fairly certain that I'll be fishing around for ways to tie American Idol into this blog so that I can write about it with reckless abandon. So far, Paula, Clay Aiken, and Barry Manilow are the only clear links I can think of, but I'm willing to get creative.

How bad is this little addiction of mine? I'll admit to going to one of the American Idol concerts. In my defense, it was just one and I only went to see my all-time Idol fav and number one boyfriend, Chris Daughtry. He totally rocked it too. Mr. Queen Bea doesn't mind me drooling over Chris since they could pretty much pass for twins. It's a healthy kinda lust, y'all!

So if you aren't into Idol, you'll just have to gloss over these little posts from time to time. I just need an outlet for my obsession.

The Gift That She Is

So Paula was on HSN quite a bit this weekend. I for one was completely disappointed. She was relatively coherent (for Paula--it's all relative people!) and no major incidents occurred that I saw. I'm so disappointed.

Yes, she had her usual slow, deliberate, slurred Anna-Nicole-style speech pattern, but I'm pretty sure that I detected actual nouns and verbs in her sentences. Although I did notice that her hands seemed to shake uncontrollably when she was holding the jewelry for a closeup, which isn't funny in the slightest. It's actually very, very sad.

The hosts also took great pains to not only keep Paula focused on the task at hand, but to treat her "like the gift that she is." The ridiculous amount of personal compliments, the fawning over her products, and the sucking-up all seemed like blatant ego stroking and made the hosts look like a bunch of silly sycophants.

I loved how they were selling her picture with a "signature" on it. Not an autograph, just a printed on signature. Awesome! I'm sure it will make a great present for that someone special. The coup de grace, however, was when they offered the big surprise Estaban "Tribute to Paula Abdul" guitar. It's like HSN is trying to make fun of itself.

At least I have American Idol to look forward to!!!

She's Ba-aaack

After a short but "interesting" run selling jewelry on QVC, Paula Abdul is back--this time on HSN, just like I predicted in this post. No, I'm no psychic like John Edward. I just know that these vendors almost always pop up again on a competing home shopping channel. It's like one big game of home shopping vendor Whack-A-Mole.

Her new "Forever Your Girl" collection will include "colorfully chic and unique" jewelry, handbags, and keepsake accessories--not that it matters what she's selling. With Paula, it's all about the entertainment. I mean, has she ever really provided much in the way a discernible critique on American Idol in all that slurred Paula-rambly-speak? Noooooo ... but she sure can be interesting to watch, can't she?

Who else can judge a performance before it's ever given??? Only Paula. So there's no telling what she'll say or do on HSN. Pass out? Strip? Dance on the table? Speak in tongues? Who knows! You'll have to check out Paula on December 13th and 14th to find out.