Thank You

Thank you for all your thoughts, prayers, emails, and messages of support. They mean so much to me. My Grandma's death is hitting me much harder than I ever thought it would. You expect that your grandparents will die before you, so I thought I would be able to handle it, but I am not as strong or stoic as I thought I was.

I've never lost anyone this close to me before and I have never grieved so deeply. I feel like I am physically being turned inside out.

I always notice words and the particular word choices people use when speaking. No one in my family can say out loud that grandma "died," only that she "passed away." There is something so cold and final about the sound of the word "died"--it's starts and ends with a harsh sound, like a door slamming shut. It sounds like the end. "Passed away" is so much softer ... easier on the tongue and the spirit. It floats. It leaves the door cracked open just a bit.

And I never knew simple verbs would be so difficult. Is Grandma an "is" or a "was?" I stop myself no mater which one I use. Does she love daisies or did she? Is that silly moose blanket her favorite or was it? I don't know.

I know this is a little heavy for a home shopping blog, but since you all were kind enough to extend your sympathies, I thought I would take the time to thank you. Grandma would expect no less. Not that she would have a clue what a blog was--she still liked to use rotary phones.

Instead of trying to write about my Grandma, I'm going to post one of her many stories. She was an amazing storyteller and I think you'll get a glimpse of her spirit in her words. I just need to type it up since her handwriting is terrible.

I have no idea what is going on in home shopping land and I don't know when I will be ready to write again. Just be patient with me. I'm sure I'll need an escape soon enough.

Bea

Sad News

I found out this morning that my grandmother passed away last night. I am flying out to go to the funeral tomorrow.

Patti Before and After

By special request ... some before and after pictures of Patti. I had some trouble finding any decent before pictures, so they aren't the best quality. If i find anything better, I'll post it.

QVC Japan Sells Some Strange Stuff

Ummm ... I'm not exactly sure what this is supposed to do for you ...



Check out the QVC Japan website. You'll see some familiar vendors.

Another New QVC Host

Word is, QVC is going to be rolling out another new host soon, Albany Irvin.

According to the bio on her website, Albany grew up as a military brat who worked to become a dentist (she's gonna be all over those SuperSmile presentations!) However, her plans were put aside when she fell in love with the camera. In addition to her hosting and commercial work, she's also another "busy mom" since she's married with three kids. (Note to Albany: If you didn't already know, "busy mom" is an entire category of home shopping hosts. As a busy mom host, you are required to say something like: I don't have time to fuss. I'm a busy mom! That's why this product is perfect. I can just throw it on with a crisp white shirt and I'm out the door!)

Check out her host reel:



You can check out her website here, her blog that she forgot about here, her MySpace here, and her Facebook here.

LukaStyle is Back!

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne ... oh, how I've missed thee! After his break from HSN, there has been a vacuum in the home shopping universe that can only be filled by one Mr. Wayne Scot Luas.

I caught a bit of his maiden ShopNBC presentation yesterday morning, and he did not fail to disappoint.

Best moment: Can we say "nipples?"




Check out the new line on ShopNBC.

If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of David's Kitchen

It's finally David's kitchen now! After Bob Bowersox's sudden and controversial departure last December, the fate of the long-running "In the Kitchen with Bob" show was in limbo. Yesterday, the reins were symbolically handed to David. I mean, it must be official ... he's got his own snazzy logo and and blog and everything.

QVC Buying HSN on Easy Pay

QVC wants to buy HSN. But last year when Barry Diller spun off HSN from his company, IAC, he threw a monkey wrench into into the master plan. John Malone, emperor of QVC's parent company Liberty Media, had a bit of a disagreement with Barry Diller over the whole spin off deal (Doncha love it when billionaires get into a pissing match with each other? It's just so relatable.) The eventual settlement restricted Liberty from buying more than 5% more stock in HSN until May 2010.

Liberty Media has recently said on the record that they are the "natural owner" of HSN due to having the most "synergies" (who knew they were so metaphysical). And they just upped their stake in HSN from about 30% to 33% of the company--think of it as Easy Pay number one. Only a dollar a day, y'all!

We might have gleaned some insight about the situation at HSN's first annual shareholders' meeting since being spun off from Barry Diller's company, but they refused to allow media inside. Apparently most publicly traded companies allow the business media to cover their meetings even though they aren't technically required to do so. The local Tampa Bay media is not happy. They are even making veiled threats to no longer cover HSN or its celebrity pitchmen since they also aren't "required" to do it. I'm just guessing here, but feuding with the media is probably not the best PR move.

QVC Loses its Sparkle

QVC loves to flash a little bling-bling. In fact, it's how they built their multi-billion dollar empire. But with the economy swirling the drain and gold prices continuing to skyrocket, home shopping customers are losing interest in shiny objects.

The Q is now focusing more on "practical" items like electronics, kitchen gadgets, and food (although I for one don't think that a $50 cheesecake is practical). Just think back to this past Memorial Day weekend. Save for the Black Hills Gold show last night, there was nary a sparkle to be found. I think every time I flipped onto QVC they were presenting that flat garden hose or a food item of some sort.

The problem--other than Queen Bea being bored out of her gourd--is that jewelry has a much higher profit margin than these other categories. Sales focused on non-jewelry categories and lower price points resulted in QVC's first quarter earnings dropping 18% from last year.

The trend against jewelry isn't just affecting QVC. The demand for gold is at a 20-year low and all jewelry retailers are suffering. When you just lost your job or you aren't sure that you'll still have a job in a month, buying a new bauble simply isn't the priority.




Even Jewelry Television (JTV)--a channel focused solely on jewelry and gems--is getting in on the act. JTV recently rolled out a new gemstone-infused skincare line called DermaGem. I can only assume that they are looking to find new non-jewelry products to help carry them through the slump.

On the flip side, that ginormous 25-carat apple quartz ring pictured at the top of the page is the Today's Special at HSN ... maybe there is hope. The sheer audacity of that ring makes me smile. Home shopping without bling is like eating cereal with no milk. Yuck.

Love on a Plate

I'm usually a traditionalist with the cheesecake. Plain, New-York-style cheesecake with no frills, thank you very much. However, this Junior's Summer Fruit Cheesecake Cobbler is calling my name.

Sure, it could send me into a diabetic coma and add ten pounds to each thigh just by smelling it, but I think it just might be worth it.

What it's definitely not worth is $36.84 + $11.22 S&H + tax. Are they freaking kidding me? I don't care what they say about how many servings are in there. Anyone who watches the Golden Girls knows what really happens with the cheesecake when no one is looking.

Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti." --Hannibal Lecter



no!no!--famous for their hair removal device that is painful or not painful to use and works well or doesn't work at all depending on who you talk to--just came out with something to help tone your saggy, wrinkly face. Like a Total Gym for yout face, the FaceTrainer is supposed to provide resistance training that gets your face muscles in shape.

Clinical studies have shown that 10 minutes a day through 30 days of use will result in 71% reduction in sagging and 42% reduction in wrinkles. The FaceTrainer™ enhances the muscle activity by up to 93%. ... Facial exercising has been proven clinically for many years to help tone the underlying muscles of the face and neck, increase blood flow and reduce wrinkling and sagging.

While I appreciate anything that helps me stay looking younger without surgery or injections, this contraption scare me and reminds me of something else entirely ...



It's already on HSN and is selling for $200(!) and, personally, I think that if I want to try the whole face muscle workout thing, I'd much rather try the Facial Flex from the Q. It's only $30 and it's far less scary looking. Ridiculous looking, yes ... but not nearly so terrifying.

If I help you, Clarice, it will be "turns" with us too. Quid pro quo. I tell you things, you tell me things. Not about this case, though. About yourself. Quid pro quo. Yes or no? --Hannibal Lecter

I can't wait to see them demonstrate the Hannibal Lecter mask live!!!

JTV Sued for Discrimination

According to KnoxNews.com, Former Jewelry Television vice president Steve Gordon is suing JTV for age discrimination. He also alleges that JTV was involved in a plot to weed out all the employees who accrued high health care costs--known in legalese fancy talk as “a pretextual guise for discriminatory conduct.”

Steve was laid off as part of the company-wide workforce reduction back in May of last year. However, a month before he was terminated, Gordon said he met with two Jewelry Television executives who discussed the company’s increasing health-care costs, including those associated with his cancer treatment.

Steve was hired in 2004 after being recruited by then-CEO Robert Hall and then diagnosed with a type of non-Hodgkin Lymphoma cancer in 2005. He claims that he was replaced with younger people (i.e. healthier), that they re-hired certain people, and that they tended to hire friends and family.

The lawsuit, which seeks class-action status, maintains that Jewelry Television sought to eliminate employees who threatened the company’s objective of an independent public offering by increasing health insurance or workers’ compensation premiums. Steve is seeking $10 million in damages.

After the whole Andesine Labradorite debacle and jewelry sales being down across the board, JTV needs another lawsuit like it needs a hole in the head. I hope this isn't true. I hope that they aren't so heartless as to pull the rug out from someone diagnosed with cancer. But I know the realities of corporate America and nothing surprises me anymore.

Calling Female Inventors

As QB mentioned in this post, HSN is working with Kelly Ripa and TLC to produce a new television show looking for the best female inventors. If you've got a unique idea, a working prototype, and an effervescent personality, you're invited to the open call auditions for the show. You'll have a chance to get your product manufactured, marketed, and sold on HSN.

Click here for all the information on the open call auditions. If you have an invention, there's simply no excuse not to take a chance and audition. Take the leap and do it! You can even submit a video if you can't make it to one of the cattle calls.

I can't wait until the show starts! Should be interesting ... especially if they bring on some of our favorite HSN personalities.

Maxx Rep Disses QVC Fashion

If you haven't heard already, celebrity stylist, Rachel Zoe (known as a less-flattering nickname to Perez Hilton readers) will be launching her own fashion line on the Q soon.

I thought I was going to do a regular old post announcing the news, when I came across a blog written by Lilliana Vazquez, the vendor rep for Maxx New York handbags on QVC. Apparently she's a total fangirl of Rachel's ... unfortunately, in the process of promoting her fashion idol, she manages to completely dismiss every other fashion accessory designer currently on the Q and make fun of QVC's entire customer base. Classy.

Here's a snippet (emphasis mine):

So as many of you might (or might not) know, my “day job” is going on QVC to represent Maxx New York handbags…and although I really enjoy what I do, I hate the fact that besides our collection, there’s nothing at QVC that I would actually wear…UNTIL NOW…according to FabSugar, Rachel Zoe will be bringing all her gaudy, gold goodness in the form of an accessories line to the Q in October!!!

I hope to that the buyers let her do her “thang” and don’t make her tone it down for their audience. Based on past experiences, QVC has a lot of say in the design of each item so I hope they let Zoe’s genius take the reins on this one. I’m sure they’re goal is to attract a younger, more fashion-forward audience with her and they won’t be successful if they tailor the line to appeal to retiree’s in the mid-west.

Wow! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Does she even know about all the designers at QVC? I realize that you have to push through racks of bedazzled ducks to get to the trendy section, but it's there.

Just in her handbag category alone, there's B. Makowsky, Dooney & Bourke, Kathy Van Zeeland, Tignanello, Vera Bradley ... the list goes on and on (as one host is apt to say) ... are they all beneath her? If I like them does that make me an old, fashion-backward, mid-western retiree?

Back in Black

No, I didn't abdicate my throne y'all, I just needed to "defrag" my brain and get out of the home shopping bubble for a while. Plus, there was that little matter of American Idol to attend to. I *heart* Adam. Not that I dislike Kris, but Adam warms my glam rock lovin' heart.

I'll be speed posting* soon trying to catch up on all the latest news and gossip since I'm waaaaay behind on everything at this point.

*Speed posting = low quality, poor grammar, horribly written posts with little redeeming value. In other words, the same as usual! W00t!!!

Speaking of Men ... Meet the New QVC Host

See, I told you it was raining men!

Jonathan Redford is the new QVC host-in-training. Here's a snippet of his bio from his website, JonathanRedford.com:

Jonathan Redford grew up in a musical family, kind of like the Partridges, except they didn't tour... though they considered it. He fell asleep every night listening to his dad (who's a composer) plunk out melodies on the piano, thus inspiring him to become a carpenter... which he does on the side when he's not training to join the Los Angeles Lakers... which he also does when he's not trying to become America’s answer to Jude Law... which he does when he’s not trying to one-up Seacrest... which he happens to do when he isn't writing or listening to music.



Check out Jonathan's website ... there's pictures of his cute little dog, Simon, his music (kind of Jason Mraz sounding to me), blog, and resume. It appears that Jonathan is an enthusiastic jack-of-all-trades so maybe, just maybe, he might be able to pull this off. We shall see.

It's Raining Men! Part Two

I'm really tired of all the cleavage pictures lately, so I'm just gonna use one of my favorite Mike Rowe shots so there's at least a semblance of some balance around here. Mike Rowe ... *sigh*

First, if you haven't read It's Raining Men! Part One, read it now. Guest blogger and our official Home Shopping Knight, Sir High, gave us his take on home shopping from a man's perspective.

After finding out how much Hugh enjoyed watching home shopping but how little he actually bought, I wanted to know what would make him buy. Was there anything that the home shopping powers that be could do to get Hugh to open up his wallet?

Here's what he had to say:

I think a lot of it has to do with content and not price, or gimmicks.

Several years ago the old Shop-at-Home network used to have sports collectibles on after midnight. Some of it was interesting, most of it was overpriced, and over exposed since you saw almost the same thing every night. Then they fell into the tired old Coin Shop stuff to replace sports collectibles when that burned out.

The problem is they tried to lure male viewers with the same items every night. The steroid scandal in baseball might have been a nail in the coffin of SAH--all of those Barry Bonds, Mark Magwire and Sammy Sosa items became worthless overnight, .....it was probably a last attempt to save a network that was in the tank.

Saying that...I think if the networks wanted more viewership and male customers, go with more sports, outdoor, and entertainment related shows. QVC once did a weekend with Bon Jovi ( which drew several demographics).

Bottom line...I think the networks need to make a change before they find the universe has changed around them, but so far no one is willing to really deviate from the old tried and true format.


I forwarded Hugh's thoughts to former QVC, Q2, and Shop-At-Home host, Ron Maestri, for his reaction.

I do understand what he is saying and can certainly relate, especially with everything he says about Shop-at-Home. When Steve Bryant was hired as their VP of on-air, he desperately tried to get them to understand everything your guest blogger wrote in his post, especially the buyers, who were hellbent on doing things their own way, irregardless of what was right.

I hosted a few watch shows where the items were definitely male oriented, but very stereotyped. There was no real style. I thought it was the manufacturer, until I actually visited them when I was in New York and saw their vast selection. Even the manufacturer (Croton) couldn't understand why our buyers kept buying the same things over and over, taking no risk on anything, all because of their excuse, "our audience won't like that." A ridiculous assertion that cost us plenty, as we all know now in hindsight.

The same was true in practically every other product category. Stubborn narrow thinking buyers who just didn't get it. They were buying for their own tastes and not the audience, which clearly craved variety (and it showed in sluggish sales after seeing the same things presented over and over, night after night).

When I was a TV program director for several different stations, staff and consultant, I'd have to remind management that we weren't buying programming to suit their own tastes but the audience we were programming to. I don't happen to like wrestling, but it sure didn't stop me from buying wrestling shows and scoring big numbers with them.

Attracting a male audience is not a challenge exclusive to TV shopping. Men are the most difficult to attract and keep because they are so elusive. You should also know in most cases, it is the women they happen to be sitting next to who are placing the order or writing the show information in the Nielsen diary, so those rating or sales statistics provided by the respective networks are a bit skewed. Still, men remain a challenge always, in any genre.

It also has a lot to do with the sell. Women are more emotional buyers while men react to things like the speed to which they got someone on the phone to place the order or how good the service is if there is a problem or question afterwards. I found this when I'd ask live phone callers (men) what they liked about shopping with us (QVC, Q2 and Shop-at-Home). Their responses were so much different, 180 degrees from the women I'd speak to. That meant the host needed to understand his/her on-air presentation needed to be more complete.


These were both very well thought out and in-depth responses. I appreciate both Hugh and Ron for taking the time to write down their thoughts.

Be sure to check out Hugh's blog, UselessTriviaAndMindlessRants.blogspot.com.

You can find Ron at RonMaestri.com. He also recently made a guest appearance on Fox TV's Good Day New York morning show preparing his Italian grandmother's original recipe of TORTA, literally translated is potato pie (but based on the ingredients, it's really heart attack on a platter--Yum-O!) It's definitely worth checking out!

Home Shopping Gossip Blind Items

Here's some gossipy not-so-blind items on several of our beloved divalicious vendors. See if you can figure out who everyone is! Answers coming soon.

Remember to use a number two pencil and fill in the bubble completely.


1) Which diva vendor finally admitted to a pain pill addiction after years and years of completely denying ever having a pill or a drink?

2) Contrary to rumors, which diva vendor just came out in support of her gay daughter's right to marry?

3) Which diva vendor is being sued for holding her maid at gunpoint? (Yes, you read that right.)

4) Which diva beauty product vendor said "I'm not going to lie to myself: past a certain age, creams work on the texture of your skin but, in order to restore elasticity, all I can really count on is vitamin injections, Botox and collagen."


Have fun!!!

QVC is Wastin' Away Again in Margaritaville

Happy Cinco de Mayo! QVC is celebrating the big day with the Margaritaville margarita maker as the TSV. Unfortunately for them, South Park skewered the Margaritaville and the people who buy the lushy contraption on an episode just a few weeks ago, and now that's all that pops in my head when I see a presentation. Well, that and where I can find that damn lost shaker of salt ... Maybe that'll be a TSV Extra today? Lunchtime Special, perhaps?

Here's a clip (obviously since this is South Park, it's probably NSFW):




Check out the entire episode here.

QVC on Nightline

Did you catch the QVC piece on Nightline last night?

The Nightline crew followed the ladies from the Microcurrent Facial Toning System for their first on-air appearance, briefly interviewed Lisa Robertson, talked to a few self-proclaimed QVC Queens who are part of the "Cult of QVC," and discussed how the economy has affected sales. And because the Q is completely paranoid, Nightline had to be escorted by four QVC staff at all times. Gotta make sure Nightline doesn't accidentally stumble across any secret upcoming TSV's.



They didn't really report anything new or incredibly interesting and there was the usual underlying "trailer park" stigma, but you do get to see the awesome Box Guy. Next to the person who gets to wrinkle the clothes for the iron presentations and dirty up the carpet for the vacuum presentations, Box Guy totally has the best QVC job! Love him!

Check it out here.