Adrien Arpel Then and Now

1989                                                2009

Found this video of Adrien (back when she wasn't Adrienne) in a talk show called "Attitudes" back in 1989. She discusses marriage, makeup after 40, and plastic surgery. Even though she wasn't even selling her Signature Club A on HSN yet, the spiel is the same. You can read all about Queen Bea's odd love for Adrien here.

(Wow! Linda Dano's hair!)

Beans and Cornbread

I went to my in-laws this weekend. They live in the country--God's country, y'all--picture horse trailers hitched to muddy pickups, hay bales, and tobacco hanging up in the barn to dry.

In any case, I think I might have gained roughly five pounds in two days. We drove over to the next little town and ate at Cathy's Country Cupboard and let me tell you, it was some good, down home, stick-to-your-ribs kinda cookin'! We had a mess o' fried catfish, white beans, coleslaw, fried potatoes, cornbread, and sweet tea. I have to say that the white beans surprised me. I'm used to pintos (you know, cook 'em up low and slow with some ham hocks or fatback), but these white beans were even better. And then the desserts ... Lord have mercy! This old country gal named Frieda comes in early in the morning and makes all the pies and cobblers from scratch. Coconut pie, pecan pie, peach cobbler, lemon meringue pie, and blackberry cobbler were the selections when I went. Frieda makes what she wants to make. The blackberry cobbler had big, fat, fresh blackberries all through it and the crust was perfection. Frieda is an artist.

That was just one meal. I'm not going to get into the biscuits and sausage gravy, grits, and hashbrowns that happened at breakfast. I'm going to have to eat nothing but salad for days just to get the gravy out of my bloodstream. It was totally worth it though.

A few random Monday morning home shopping thoughts:

I had tons of emails about Lisa Robertson--where did she go? Was she fired? Which I found really funny. We have become so accustomed to the powers that be just canning people with no warning that if someone misses a shift or two, we're pretty sure that the worst happened--post traumatic host firing disorder, maybe? So, calm down. No, she's not fired and she didn't quit. She's back. Word is that her father had a stroke and she--quite understandably--needed to go be with him. I certainly hope that all is well now.

And the other Lisa--Lisa Mason--her hair is to die for! Props to Gino that big Hawaiian hair dresser husband of hers. Love him!

Sterling Silver Designer Day was a total bust for me. I haven't checked out the message boards yet to see how other people felt about it, but I wasn't impressed. The Ripka TSV was covered in hearts and I don't do hearts--Queen Bea is a heartless shell of a woman, you know. There was also waaay too much old stuff, too much expensive stuff, and not enough special deals. I know that the Q is allergic to having "sales," but we are in a recession. Tough times call for some sales on silver.

Speaking of sales, my diva hoops arrived! I totally rocked them down at Cathy's Country Cupboard.

On a side note, I've had some email conversations with several of you about writing. Yes, I enjoy writing. That's why I started this blog to begin with. I wanted somewhere to write that would be fun and freeing. Writing books is a long process that involves more planning, editing, and rewriting than actual writing (writing is rewriting, right?) I wanted instant gratification and I didn't want to fuss over perfect grammar--I wanted to let my participles dangle freely! This blog is a perfect outlet for that.

Anyway, I've once again been bitten by the nasty book bug. A little seed was planted in my head while I was watching a news story one day. That's what happens when your at home laying on the couch with the flu. Your brain is all mushy and fertile--ripe for planting. That little seed has since grown into some characters who I adore and a funny little plot for them to play in.

I know that a few of you are also writers and I know at least one of you is writing a book and another is thinking about it. I'm looking for some buddies to go through the writing muck with me and sit in the dark, lonely trenches. If for no other reason than to provide little word count encouragement. Trust me, it helps! If you've ever done NaNoWriMo, you know that a little peer pressure and competition will spur you to higher word counts. If you don't already know, writers are expert naval-gazers and need a little motivation to actually do something remotely productive. Any takers???

Diva Hoop Dreams

Real Collectibles by Adrienne® Clear Crystal Large Hoop Earrings Item: 363-413
(Clearance Price: $26.95)

The blog posts have been scant lately as I and the entire royal household have been spending more time on the royal throne being royally sick.

As usual when I'm feeling under-the-weather, I buy a little trinket as a pick-me-up.

This time, I splurged on some I-ain't-playin'-around divalicious hoops from the Queen of Hoops, Adrienne (y'all know how I love the Adrienne show). I have been wanting some big, sparkly, yet narrow hoops for some time now, but just haven't found just the right pair at the right price.

These were almost the right pair at nearly the right price, but sickness put its heavy thumb on the scale and tipped the balance.

I did manage to come out of the "Everything on 4 Easy Payments Groundhog Day QVC Spectacular" completely unscathed. Those Evil Pays can add up quick!

Also, I'll be announcing the winner of the IMAN free purse contest today!!!

I *Heart* Adrienne Arpel

I don't know what it is about Adrienne, but whenever she's on HSN, I am completely hypnotized by her.

I love the way she sweeps her bangs out of her face and leans in towards the camera when she's getting serious about educating you on the finer points of argon oil or hyaluronic acid.

I love how she smears lotions, potions, and makeup all over the models' faces without much regard for how much she's using or where it ultimately ends up (the demonstrations with the multi-colored concealers are by far my favorite part of the Adrienne show).

I also seriously appreciate that she uses ... ahem ... more "mature" models to demonstrate her products. Seeing a smooth-skinned, dewy-faced 18-year-old model happily using an anti-wrinkle cream just doesn't do it for me.

The models Adrienne uses also appear to be clean-faced with no makeup on before she starts slapping on her various face paints (and I do mean slap, Adrienne is not know for her gentle touch!), which is much more than I can say for many other beauty vendors *cough*BE*cough* who seem to put an entire face of perfect makeup on with one easy sweep of their magic kabuki brush.

I love her big jewelry, her pulled face, and her pouty fish lips. I've never tried any of her products, but I'm always tempted.

Today's Blue Plate Specials ... Studly Studs

The HSN TS is a Technibond "Garden of Gems" Textured Pendant with 18" Popcorn Chain. This looks ... how shall I say ... cheap? unattractive? With the exception of the garnet, the gems are washed out and the setting is boring. Perhaps this is my personal bias against most cluster settings or maybe it's just ugly. Who knows?!

(By the way, I have been told by reliable sources that I am a being a bit of a b-i-t-c-h right now due to some crazy PMS so that could be playing into my nasty reviews. Although it's not like they don't deserve it anyway, right???)

I suppose the chain looks decent ... See, I can be play nice! Sometimes. Whatever. I'll just have to go relax in HSN's new Elle Fall Fashion Lounge. There seems to be a lot of room to spread out. Those skinny models don't take up any space at all!

There is a $5 off coupon code for Signature A Club. Maybe this will help Adrienne gain some ground on Joan!

The QVC TSV is a Slatkin & Co. Set of 3 Ceramic Harvest Figural Candles. These are cute, but not fifty dollars worth of cute! I haven't watched the presentations yet, but I'm guessing that there has been talk of breaking this up into three separate presents--hey, you gotta get your kid's new teacher something nice or she won't like him, right?

Good Lord, I am in a bit of a snit today. However, there are lots of Easy Pay offers today. Check them out here.

The ShopNBC OTV is a Sterling Silver / Platinum Brilliante Simulated Diamond Stud Earring Set. Lisa Mason will be sooo jealous of the ShopNBC hosts getting to say "stud" all day will absolute impunity! Not just one stud, but three studs, baby. Poor Lisa.

Anywho, these three studs need to hit the gym or something. They look very fake and even though I have a undying love for fake diamonds, I don't want them to actually look fake. These look like those crystal earrings that come in a set for little girls down at the Walmart.

Sorry, stud.

When I was watching last night, I happened to catch a new line called Sophisticated Steel. I love steel jewelry! And now that the price of gold has skyrocketed, everyone else seems to be jumping on board. I'm sad to say that they were super stingy with the Value Pays though. Check it out here.

Who Got Their Hair Extensions Handed to Them?

Joan Rivers got Adrienne in a choke hold and didn't even break an acrylic nail!

In Queen Bea's first Home Shopping Cage Match, Joan slaughtered fellow plastic surgery loving, makeup and accessory peddling diva, Adrienne, with 81% of the vote!!!

Congratulations Joan!!!


Don't forget to vote in this week's patent-to-patent match up between Lori "The Safekeeper" Greiner and Joy "The Hanger" Mangano!

Today's Blue Plate Specials ... Suck

The HSN TS is a 2.98ct Ruby Sterling Silver "Vintage" Ring. You see, I love rubies. But I love really good rubies. The kind that are more expensive per carat than good diamonds. In light of the fact that I am not Oprah, I make due with the lab-created variety. "Real" rubies--like the kind in this ring--do nothing for me.



The QVC TSV is an Oreck Restaurant Vacuum with Floor Sweeper,Crystal Aroma & Deodorize. I haven't ever used an Oreck, but I've heard that they're great. However, can they still compete against the Dyson? I don't know. It did get the Arthritis Foundation Ease-of-Use Commendation.



Yet another in a long, long line of watch OTV's from ShopNBC. I love the watch itself, but hate the bands that come with it. They cheapen the look of the watch.

There is an online only Offerings Trunk Show. Check it out here. One of these days I'm going to actually order something from Offerings instead of just window shopping.

Don't forget to vote if this week's HOME SHOPPING CAGE MATCH!

Adrienne Arpel vs. Joan Rivers

Fashion jewelry, watches, makeup, skincare, purses, and plastic surgery ... they both do it all ... but who does it better???

Today's Blue Plate Specials!

QVC: Today's Special Value

Item# E05418

Sharp 46" Diagonal Widescreen Full High Definition1080p

• $1385.00


• $67.97 S&H (Wow! That's high!!!)


• 5 (Not-So) Easy Pays of $277.00

What They Say: In a class by itself. See what you've been missing with this Sharp 46" diagonal widescreen full high-definition television. No matter what signal you're currently using, your viewing experience will be transformed with this affordable unit from one of the most trusted names in technology. Highest resolution available. Full 1080p resolution offers breathtaking color purity and crisp images. You might notice details like never before--the sequins on a dancer's dress, the rotation on a touchdown pass, or the smallest clue in the background of your most-watched mystery film.The fastest panel response in the industry. Six-millisecond response means no lag time, making it ideal for action and sports. Optimized picture control automatically adjusts the brightness to changing room conditions. Even near windows, doors, or other light sources you still see all the vivid, clear detail.Best seat in the house. With a 176-degree viewing angle, you have awe-inspiring HDTV from nearly every spot in the room. Invite your friends for the championship game or movie night.Space-saving slim design. Its narrow bezel and thin profile make it the perfect addition to any room in your home. Plus, it's lightweight--ideal for mounting on a wall.Not ready to go hi-def yet? This set works with an analog signal, too. Get it, and you'll be ready for the future when you want to upgrade.

What Queen Bea Says: Queen Bea would never get her arse off the throne if she had a 46" HDTV as her favorite court jester! And to think ... I could watch my boyfriend, Rick Domeier, in high definition! But considering the shipping alone is $67.97, Rick better be delivering it personally. Me thinks it's probably best for the both the Queen's coffers and the Queen's sanity that she stay far away from this particular TSV.

My boyfriend, Rick ... a.k.a. hottie TV delivery man!


HSN: Today's Special

Item# 322-423

Signature Club A Everything Vitamin C & More

$49.95 for the kit.
Can be set up for AutoShip for FREE.
Shipping & handling also FREE.
Two Flexpays of $24.98.

What They Say: When it comes to beauty, details make a world of difference. Those that count are a glowing, flawless-looking complexion, enhanced eyes and luscious lips. Adrienne's Everything Vitamin C and More Super Sale includes all you need to accomplish those beautiful details. And to aid in your flawless makeup application, we include a 2-sided magnifying mirror. Signature Club A Everything Vitamin C and More Super Sale Includes:
.7 oz. Wrinkle Filament FiberFill & Firm Instant Temporary Wrinkle Repair - this beauty treatment uses cutting-edge FiberFill technology and pharmaceutical-grade silicone molecules to form a temporary invisible net-like facial support system for sagging, crepey-looking skin while temporarily filling in wrinkles. It helps provide smooth-looking, less lined and firmer appearing skin. A perfect base for makeup, Wrinkle Repair also creates the illusion of smooth perfection when no makeup is being used.
.35 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused No Transfer Industrial Strength Concealer - our smudge-resistant, long-lasting, flaw-concealing roll-up concealer stick with a Rapid Transport C Infused Core moisturizes skin while providing excellent skin defect coverage. The specially chosen yellow-tone color with a creamy consistency hides redness, blemishes and makes imperfections virtually invisible.
.35 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused No Transfer Foundation - this smudge-resistant, long-lasting roll-up foundation stick with a Rapid Transport C Infused Core moisturizes skin while providing excellent coverage.
.35 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused No Transfer Eye/Cheek Color - versatile, smudge-resistant, long-lasting roll-up color stick with a Rapid Transport C Infused Core moisturizes skin while providing easy-to-apply, natural-looking eyeshadow and blush.
.12 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused Beauty Treatment Core Lipstick - moisturizes lips with the Rapid Transport C Infused Core while providing flattering True Berry color.
4.5 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused Tangerine Meltdown Cleansing Creme For Face and Eyes - excellent for most skin types, this cleanser frees skin of dirt and debris and gently melts off and removes makeup from face and eye with no need to tug on delicate skin. It is formulated with a combination of ingredients, including our Rapid Transport C ingredient and enlivened with a zesty tangerine fragrance.
1.7 oz. Rapid Transport C Infused Night Elixir - Adrienne's rich, super-emollient concentrated cream helps reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles on over-40 skin. It contains a combination of ingredients, including a skin-penetrating, pH neutral, stable form of Vitamin C that is transported through the skin faster than other forms of Vitamin C, and is converted to ascorbic acid by the action of enzymes in the skin. The formulation acts as an antioxidant that helps fight environmental aggressors, which helps diminish the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles and gives skin a plump look. Deep-penetrating liposomes without feeling greasy to give skin a younger look and feel.
Magnifying mirror - this 2-sided makeup mirror has a regular mirror on 1 side and a 2X magnification mirror on the other side. The easel stand allows you to tilt the mirror to your needs. Embellished with black trim and stand, the mirror measures approx. 7-1/4""H x 5-1/2"W.

What Queen Bea Says: Queen Bea loves to watch Adrienne because she's sooo entertaining; however, it's hard to take beauty advice from a lady that's pulled tighter than the Queen's control top briefs after a night at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet (Yes, I'm looking at you, Joan. But really I love you even more!). Her products always look greasy to me, but that could be just the way they show on TV (hmmm ... perhaps Queen Bea does need a 46" HDTV).

The one product that consistently gets raves on the product reviews and on all the message boards is her meltdowns--they smell like dessert and melt away all the dirt and makeup n your face. I'm thinking that if you want to try this line, that would be the place to start. Enter the word "meltdown" in Queen Bea's custom Google toolbar--which only searches the home shopping networks--to find them.

Another thing I love about Adrienne is that she uses models of all ages. For reals, y'all! Everything from knee high to a grasshopper to older than dirt. Queen Bea will freely wave her magic remote wand and change the channel if some stupid vendor tries to sell the latest miracle cream by demonstrating it on a dewy 18-year-old model. Ugh!

And in case you didn't already know, Adrienne is really Adrien Arpel--but she can't use that name on HSN.

ShopNBC: Our Top Value

Item# I8144

14K WG or YG 1.00ct Diamond Buckle Ring

$497.90
Five value pays of $99.58
Choice of yellow or white 14k gold

What They Say: A modern twist on a timeless design. This buckle style ring is crafted in your choice of polished 14K white or yellow gold. It features 84 round cut diamonds in prong settings and 19 round cut diamonds in channel settings. The total diamond weight is approximately 1.00ct with a color of H-I and a clarity of I2-I3. The setting size is 9/16" x 3/4" with a height of 1/8". It also has an undergallery for added beauty and comfort.

About the History of Belt Buckles: Belt buckles were invented in the 1600s for purely one very important utilitarian purpose - to keep up the pants of British sailors. Eyelets and rope and string were fashioned for them originally, but proved useless once the pants got wet. The sailors attached leather belts to buckles and the look started a fashion trend which eventually became a wardrobe staple.

During Victorian age, buckle rings were given as a token of love and affection. The romantic notion behind this symbol is that the couple fit together "like a buckle and belt." This buckle design twinkles with a reminder of the past while adding flashes of contemporary allure to your latest outfits.

What Queen Bea Says: The Queen greatly appreciates that ShopNBC tells you the grade of their diamonds--even when it's close to drill bit quality. The diamonds even look grey in the picture. Yuk! This is why Queen Bea loves her some fake diamonds! Diamond quality aside, I still don't like the design. Where's the part of the belt buckle that sticks in the belt hole? This doesn't even look like a buckle. And the gold on the back of the ring looks thin. This ring is simply a hot royal mess.