The Home Shopping Vendor Shuffle, Part 1

You squeeze your ThighMaster in,

You let your ThighMaster out,

You squeeze your ThighMaster in and you shake it all about (ouch!)

You do the vendor shuffle and you turn yourself around

That's what it's all about!

Queen Bea has been poking around trying to find out where-oh-where all the usual vendors are these days. While some seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth, most of them just spun the infamous Home Shopping Wheel of Fortune and landed their wares safely at another network.

Let's do a quick rundown, shall we?

Somer Time … Since she's been around almost from the inception of home shopping, I have to start with Suzanne Somers. Now I mentioned here and here that things were looking a little fishy for Suzanne, and apparently even a blind squirrel gets a nut occasionally cause she soon disappeared from the HSN roster. But don't ever count Suzanne out. This is the woman who has parlayed a short stint as a ditsy blond on a sitcom thirty years ago into a multimillion-dollar empire. It didn't take long before she turned up, ThighMaster in tow, on ShopNBC.

The Real McCoy … This one is a bit of a sticky widget. Pam and Wes McCoy were apparently fired as ShopNBC hosts; however, Pam still has her "Pamela McCoy" (faux furs and leather blazer) fashion collection with them. From what I've read, she's going to remain there as a vendor through the end of the year. I just don't see how this can work! Pam needs her Wes by her side in order to function. How else can she utter her trademark, "Ohhhhhh, Wes!" while she admires the latest trinket?

Yeah, They're Fake … Dr. Rey, that icky Dr. 90210 plastic surgeon that touches all the models inappropriately, moved his shapewear collection from HSN to ShopNBC. And he's now peddling a Sensual Solutions skincare line too. Sensual?  Honestly, is that really necessary? Is fake boob grabbing not enough for him? Although I can't prove it, I'm fairly certain that Rhonda Shear led the models in a revolt to oust him from HSN.

Judy and Paul Sittin' in a Tree … Judy Crowell--former QVC host, former HSN host and former wife of that poofy-haired Jeff Hewson--is now a fashion vendor at ShopNBC. Her husband, Paul Deasy--former QVC host and former HSN host--is now a gem vendor at ShopNBC. These two lovebirds have managed to work in some capacity at all three major home shopping channels. Can you imagine all the interesting tidbits that they must know? Oh, how Queen Bea would love to be a fly on the wall.

Perish the Thought … Kim Parrish, the former QVC host who then became a fashion vendor at HSN, now has her collection at ShopNBC. I just want to point out that Queen Bea saw this coming a long time ago and nobody believed me! Yes, I'm tooting my own tooty horn here. Toot-toot!

They Got the Sense Knocked Out of 'em … Sensa, the controversial diet sprinkles that are supposed to make you eat less, were originally supposed to be on the Q, but that never happened. Instead they ended up on HSN where they got the sprinkles beat out of them by Andrew Lessman, who refused to be associated with a network that would weightloss sprinkles. Lucky for them, they were able to land safely at ShopNBC.

More Vendor Shuffle Hokey Pokey to come in Part 2! 

Some Old School Jeff Hewson

While Jeff is still missing in action, I did manage to find these old videos of Jeffrey from 1992--back when the Q was young and the hair was big.

Along with the rare clips of Jeff Hewson, the Connie Francis fan who posted several of her visits to QVC, also captured some vintage Jayne Tracey (should throw a Rudolph in there?) and Bob Bowersox.

Click here for the Jeff Hewson and Connie Francis video part 1.

Click here for the Jeff Hewson and Connie Francis video part 2.

If you haven't already, you can read the whole Jeff soap opera on my old post here.

Housekeeping

Blogger has added some features since I last roamed these hallowed halls, so I have added some newfangled fancy "pages." There are new links to these pages at the top of the page (right under the Queen Bea kitty cat) if you need to email Queen Bea, report any abusive language in the comments sections, or search for a home shopping coupon code. Please feel free to use them!

There is also a link for "links," which is a section I have been meaning to work on forever. If you have a link that you would like for me to include, please email me. It just needs to be related to home shopping in some way, shape, or form. I'm considering also adding a "blogroll" link for all those not-necessarily-home-shopping-related blogs that many of you guys have, so feel free to email those too.

Speaking of real life housekeeping ... I started making my own homemade laundry soap! For real! So far, so good. Much cheaper, no skin sensitivities, and managed to get some nasty towels squeaky clean. I saw this on the 18 19 Kids and Counting show on TLC and was so intrigued that I had to try it for myself. Of course, I have to store it in a Lock-n-Lock. ;-P

Lynn D'Hulster née Murphy

Since I just woke up from my self-inflicted home shopping coma, I 'm afraid that I will be posting some old news. Sorry. There are just some things that I have to write about even if it isn't the latest and greatest. Just humor me. Pretend that I'm your senile old aunt who's always yelling at you for leaving her teeth in the toaster again.

My son is on spring break this week so I will have some extra time to focus on the blog (yes, I homeschool him, but we choose to follow the public school schedule ... actually, he requested it for fear that I would make him work during summer break! I'm a slave driver!) I figure that posting some outdated info will help me get into the groove again.

So, on that note, I would like to direct your attention to the beautiful wedding photos of the ever lovely HSN host, Lynn D'Hulster née Murphy.

The wedding photographer, Tim Boyles, posted two blogs full of wedding pictures and high praise for the new couple.

I guess I was kind of naive about who I was shooting that day. Lynn and Jerry are both so down-to-earth, kind, friendly and caring that I very seldom thought about her “celebrity” status. She doesn’t wear that cloak. I wonder now if Jerry even realizes just how many people know her from her job as a host on HSN and what it’s going to be like to be the man that captured her heart and soul.

Tim Boyles' Photography Lynn and Jerry D’Hulster blog post part 1

Tim Boyles' Photography Lynn and Jerry D’Hulster blog post part 2

Guess Who?

Queen Bea's eXtreme QVC Purchases

While I was on hiatus, I did give up the home shopping habit cold turkey ... at least until I slipped and fell off the bandwagon!

Here's a rundown of what I've been talked into buying by those silver tongued devil hosts ... :-P

Most Recent

The Q just did some sort of all day kitchen love fest, which always sucks me in. I *heart* kitchen gadgets. And, after years of thinking about it, I finally decided to order the Cook's Essentials Pressure Cooker.

No one my house ever remembers to take meat out to thaw and then we're inevitably in a conundrum come dinner time, I just love the idea of throwing a frozen chicken breast and some salsa in the pressure cooker and having dinner ready in a few minutes.

I've used it twice so far, and while I'm almost over the fear that that it's a time bomb fixin' to blow my kitchen to smithereens, I still haven't got a good feel for how long it actually takes different foods to cook. At this point it's just a guessing game. (And, yes, I know there are guidelines, but they can only get you in the general ballpark.)

Most Impulsive

I also got those Temp-tations place mat/serving tray thingies that sold out (technically called the Temp-tations Old World Set of 4 Serve N Clear Mats, but that's too much of a mouthful for me). And while I usually ponder my home shopping purchases for months before actually buying anything, this was a complete and total impulse buy.

My royal household is not very good at sitting at the table like civilized human beings, so we are always carting food all over the house. I thought these might help cut down on some of the mess and accidental spills.

The only downside I've noticed are some weird glue splotches where it was probably thrown together quickly in some Chinese factory. Other than that, I absolutely love them. But I'm still holding out judgement until I have to actually clean them. Will they come clean? Hmmm ...

Most Sentimental

I had been eyeing the Barry Cord Daisy Cross ever since my grandmother passed away. She loved wearing cross pendants and the daisy was always her favorite flower. Since the Barry Cord jewelry tends to be very well made, solid jewelry, I snapped it up as soon as it went on clearance. Now if I could only find a chain to wear it on ...

Most Blingy

I have to admit, when I saw the Ripka Wedding Band, it was lust at first sight. I just wasn't sure if it would be too bulky or blingy looking on me--basically, I didn't know if I could pull it off! So after cooling my jets for about a year, I finally decided to just take the plunge and buy it. And while it is most certainly not a shy ring, I do love wearing it.

Most Gifted

The Keurig! I have sung the praises of my beloved Keurig many, many times. My family didn't understand what was the big stinking deal about a coffee maker until they came to visit. After that, they all wanted one. Let me put it this way ... it was a Merry Keurig Christmas this year. Keurigs for all my kingdom!

Most OCD

I hate CD's and DVD's being strewn about the room, cluttering up the place. I bought Discgear 120-Disc Organizer for Mr. Queen Bea who used it to completely organize all our movies, games, music, and software into one tidy little spot. Sigh ... if only everything in my life could be so perfectly organized.

Most eXtreme

Speaking of Mr. Queen Bea, he was feeling frumpy and unmotivated so I bought him P90X to give him a much-needed kick in the derriere. He was sooo excited about the program and got off to a rip-roaring start. He even managed to do three solid weeks before getting injured. Unfortunately, he forgot that he wasn't 18 anymore and pushed himself too far. The good news is that he seems to be all recovered now and ready to jump back in. I think he learned his lesson and will be more careful, but the male ego is such a delicate thing that you just never know. Be warned - it's eXtreme, y'all!!!

Most Un-Home Shopping

BTW ... the best thing I got all year *not* from a home shopping network was my Kindle, which I received as a Christmas present from a very generous Santa. If you love to read and you aren't too attached to the feeling of having a book in your hands, you should really look into getting one. It's been wonderful for the homeschooling too.

Patti Reilly, Home Shopping Lightning Rod

As part of my official blog housekeeping cleanup effort, I'm trying my best to go through all the comments and delete the spam and nastiness. Queen Maid Bea has officially turned in her tiara for a mop and bucket!

What I have discovered while wading through the comments is that the mere mention of Patti Reilly's name makes people's heads spin around until pea soup shoots out of their mouths and splatters all over their computer keyboards--at least that's what the venomous comments look like to me.

No other host or vendor inspires such complete and utter hatred (or loyal devotion) as Patti. There is just no middle ground.

So I ask in all seriousness ... Why does she cause such extreme reactions? Has it always been that way or did this start after her weight loss transformation?

Mariah's "Something Special"

Mariah Carey popped up on all the red carpets during award season hinting about "something special" that was about to happen in her life. According to all the gossip columns, that "something special" just had to be code for a baby. A baby! Oh my goodness gracious, there is just nothing in this whole wide world that makes tongue-wagging gossipers happier than the prospect of another celebrity baby on the way.

But, alas, there is no bun in the oven. Nope. According to her husband, Nick Cannon, Mariah's special surprise was …. drum roll, please … a new product line for HSN (listen as a collective groan spreads across the land). But what, pray tell, will she be selling? Some sort of glittery butterfly stuff. perhaps? I dunno. And it probably won't be anything terribly interesting. But, what will be interesting is watching those live presentations. Did you see her embarrassingly drunken acceptance speech for the Breakthrough Actress award (read: actress willing to get ugly for a part)? Holy cow! It's worth watching the video if you haven't already seen it.

Pop some popcorn and enjoy the show!

Uneasy Lies the Head that Wears a (DMQ) Crown

Where to begin ... omigosh, it's been so long since I've talked to you guys.

I decided after my grandmother died to just take a break from blogging and the home shopping universe in general. I stopped checking my email, never looked at the blog, and even stopped watching all the home shopping channels (gasp!) It was a sudden and clean break from everything "Queen Bea."

The longer I didn't blog, the harder it was to start back up again. While a part of me missed sitting on my little self-built throne, the weight of the Diamonique-encrusted crown weighed heavy on my head. I was beginning to enjoy the freedom. Even though I started the blog for fun, it was becoming like a second job. Pressure, pressure, pressure ... I was over it.

Slowly, but surely, I started watching a little QVC every now and then. Maybe I even noticed when there was some major vendor musical chairs going on (OMG! Suzanne Somers!) And I might have even raised an eyebrow when I began to see ShopNBC taking some of my rather long-winded advice and start to pull themselves out of that unwatchable and unprofitable rut they were stuck in*. In other words, I was ready to dive back into the murky home shopping waters.

Then my number one job--MOM--took precedence over everything. My son was having problems at school. I won't go into the details since he is due his privacy, but the end result was that I decided to pull him out of public schools and homeschool him. I went from working full-time and being a full-time mom, to working part-time, being a full-time mom, and being a full-time teacher. My time on the Internet was spent researching various curricula and putting lesson plans together, not digging up the latest dirt on home shopping hair extension vendors.

Recently, my son and I have settled into a good routine with school and I actually find myself having the energy and time to check on my poor little ol' neglected home shopping stepchild of a blog. Poor thing!

Right now I'm working on sorting through the *gulp* thousands of emails in my inbox and deleting all the nasty comments and spam that are now littering up the place. So, please, if you emailed me and never received a reply, accept my apology. My intent was not to ignore or be mean to you.

I haven't made any decisions about what I'll do after I've cleaned up the blog, but hopefully I'll be able to find time to at least post occasionally.

BTW, since I am TOTALLY out of the loop, I want to hear some good home shopping gossip, y'all! Post a comment, email me ... just let me know what's going on these days. I've got to catch up on everything!

*ETA: This does NOT excuse them getting rid of Charla. That is NOT cool!

Testing ... testing ...

Gonna post a little update soon regarding my extended sabbatical ... sudden disappearance ... admission into the witness protection program ... :-P