The Home Shopping Vendor Shuffle, Part 1

You squeeze your ThighMaster in,

You let your ThighMaster out,

You squeeze your ThighMaster in and you shake it all about (ouch!)

You do the vendor shuffle and you turn yourself around

That's what it's all about!

Queen Bea has been poking around trying to find out where-oh-where all the usual vendors are these days. While some seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth, most of them just spun the infamous Home Shopping Wheel of Fortune and landed their wares safely at another network.

Let's do a quick rundown, shall we?

Somer Time … Since she's been around almost from the inception of home shopping, I have to start with Suzanne Somers. Now I mentioned here and here that things were looking a little fishy for Suzanne, and apparently even a blind squirrel gets a nut occasionally cause she soon disappeared from the HSN roster. But don't ever count Suzanne out. This is the woman who has parlayed a short stint as a ditsy blond on a sitcom thirty years ago into a multimillion-dollar empire. It didn't take long before she turned up, ThighMaster in tow, on ShopNBC.

The Real McCoy … This one is a bit of a sticky widget. Pam and Wes McCoy were apparently fired as ShopNBC hosts; however, Pam still has her "Pamela McCoy" (faux furs and leather blazer) fashion collection with them. From what I've read, she's going to remain there as a vendor through the end of the year. I just don't see how this can work! Pam needs her Wes by her side in order to function. How else can she utter her trademark, "Ohhhhhh, Wes!" while she admires the latest trinket?

Yeah, They're Fake … Dr. Rey, that icky Dr. 90210 plastic surgeon that touches all the models inappropriately, moved his shapewear collection from HSN to ShopNBC. And he's now peddling a Sensual Solutions skincare line too. Sensual?  Honestly, is that really necessary? Is fake boob grabbing not enough for him? Although I can't prove it, I'm fairly certain that Rhonda Shear led the models in a revolt to oust him from HSN.

Judy and Paul Sittin' in a Tree … Judy Crowell--former QVC host, former HSN host and former wife of that poofy-haired Jeff Hewson--is now a fashion vendor at ShopNBC. Her husband, Paul Deasy--former QVC host and former HSN host--is now a gem vendor at ShopNBC. These two lovebirds have managed to work in some capacity at all three major home shopping channels. Can you imagine all the interesting tidbits that they must know? Oh, how Queen Bea would love to be a fly on the wall.

Perish the Thought … Kim Parrish, the former QVC host who then became a fashion vendor at HSN, now has her collection at ShopNBC. I just want to point out that Queen Bea saw this coming a long time ago and nobody believed me! Yes, I'm tooting my own tooty horn here. Toot-toot!

They Got the Sense Knocked Out of 'em … Sensa, the controversial diet sprinkles that are supposed to make you eat less, were originally supposed to be on the Q, but that never happened. Instead they ended up on HSN where they got the sprinkles beat out of them by Andrew Lessman, who refused to be associated with a network that would weightloss sprinkles. Lucky for them, they were able to land safely at ShopNBC.

More Vendor Shuffle Hokey Pokey to come in Part 2! 

Is Judy Crowell Back at QVC?

Word going around the beauty parlor is that Judy Crowell, former host at HSN and QVC before that, will be back at QVC as a host as soon as her non-compete with HSN runs out. Supposedly she's already working at the Q behind the scenes.

Here is a tiny bit of vague confirmation from Paul and Judy's webiste:

Sorry the site has not been active as of late. We had hoped to have some concrete news to announce previously, but some of those plans have fallen through. Like just about every other segment of the economy, the shopping channel industry has been hit pretty hard. We are still cautiously optimistic about a few opportunities. We hope to announce Judy's plans soon, and if they come to fruition she can appear on air after April 15th 2009. I did complete the book on opals and began to write a new book on Tanzanite. Hoever, it does not make financial sense for me to print new books until I have a comittment for an outlet to sell them. I may have a different opportunity to speak of (not on a shopping channel), but I cannot divulge until the deal is finalized. Once these plans become more concrete I promise the site will be updated more regularly.Paul Deasy

So everyone keep your eyes peeled for Judy in April! :-)

Jeff Hewson MIA

I have gotten sooo many emails asking me where-oh-where Jeff "Thanks for the Jeffrey!" Hewson is these days. Honestly, I don't have a clue. Sorry. Rest assured that Queen Bea is trying though.

In case you don't already know or just need to refresh your memory, Jeff was a QVC host known for selling jewelry in tuxes, singing karaoke, and thanking callers who referred to him as "Jeffrey" instead of the more pedestrian "Jeff." He married another QVC host, Judy Crowell amongst great fanfare--and yes, that's the same Judy that went to HSN and eventually married Paul Deasy.

The QVC fairytale marriage between Jeff and Judy ended practically before the honeymoon began. What happened? No one really knows, but it wasn't an amicable split.

This wonderfully written article, LOVE! DRAMA! SHOPPING! ALL ABOUT QVC!, perfectly captures what it was like to be an avid QVC viewer back when all this drama was unfolding.

According to Kathy Levine's biography, "It's Better to Laugh...," Jeffrey asked for a divorce right before Judy was about to go on the air. Stunned and scared, Judy called Kathy for advice. Angered tremendously that Jeffrey would do this to Judy Kathy told her this: Cry later. This bites but you are a professional. Go out there, smile, and sell whatever you have to sell. Do the best you can. It will all be okay.

Jeff, on the other hand, left QVC and supposedly sued for breech of contract. He then sold his story to the Enquirer--classy move, doncha think?

Allegedly this is the old Enquirer article:

Jeff Hewson, the baby-faced star of QVC, has quit the TV shopping network --because he says his jealous ex-wife made his life a living hell. In a bombshell that rocked the network, Hewson and QVC host Judy Crowell split up three months after they wed in April 1992 -- but they both kept their jobs hosting separate QVC segments.The 38 year old heartthrob claims that immediately after the split Judy began spreading vicious rumors that he was gay and had a serious drinking problem. A furious Hewson resigned from the network on Friday, November 5, saying he was sick of his ex-wife's antics and QVC's refusal to do anything about it.

Astonishingly, Hewson, who says he was QVC's top seller, moving as much as $2.4million worth of gold jewelry in one night, admits their troubles started as far back as their honeymoon. "We were on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Judy started making scenes. She seemed to delight in humiliating me in public," he said. "When we got back home, Judy said, it's not working. I said, let's get some therapy. We haven't given it a chance. But she didn't want to give it a chance. She never even moved into my home. I feel she married me just to get ahead. Judy's love for me was all an act. She went after me because I was a star. She got me to fall in love with her and marry her, thinking the publicity would make her a celebrity. She's a Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde and Mr. Hyde came out after we married." Hewsen said he threatened to slap QVC bigwigs with a lawsuit if they didn't stop Judy's harassment. But they did nothing. QVC made matters worse when they offered him a ridiculous new 5 year contract. "I would have earned less than I did two years ago. When I looked at that, and thought of my ex-wife's viciousness, I decided I'd had enough," he said.

When contacted by the ENQUIRER, Judy Crowell had no comment. Hewson now hopes to land a job hosting a TV game show and he's thrilled to finally be rid of his ex-wife. "The biggest favor Judy ever did for me was to walk out of my life," he said.

"She's put me through a horrendous year, but it's time to move on. My fans will definitely see me again -- a lot happier and with an even more beautiful woman."

Soap Opera Diva Dips Her Toes into Technibond

General Hospital's Jackie Zeman (AKA Bobbi Spencer) will premier on HSN later this week with her new jewelry line, The Spice Collection.

Although she's another soap opera diva like Susan Luci, this collection seems much more like Iman's Global Chic collection except that it's all done in Technibond with real gemstones.

Here's what she had to say about the new line:

"Inspired by cultures around the world, Jacklyn Zeman's vibrant designs tell tales of exotic locales and glamorous destinations. Each hand-selected piece takes you on a spellbinding journey through faraway lands."

If you haven't already, check out this post about the ongoing quality issues with Technibond from Paul Deasy himself that explains why people's experiences are so different.

How Did You Find Queen Bea?

People stumble across this silly little blog in all different kinds of ways, but there seems to be a bit of a trend. See if you notice anything.

Here is a list of the Top Ten Keywords used to find Queen Bea for 2008 ...

10) Kelly Repassy - The redheaded former plus-size model and recently-ousted HSN host.




9) The Jewelry Chanel - This struggling home shopping channel that was going out of business most of the year, only to reinvent itself into The Liquidation Channel.




8) Davinia Palmer - This little British cutie burned bright as a QVC host, but her time was short.




7) Pat James-Demetri (and her ex, Vince) - Poor Pat has had a rough year thanks to her no-good ex-husband, Vince.




6) Paul Deasy - Another former HSN and QVC host who, along with his wife, Judy Crowell, is trying to make a return to the home shopping arena in a new way.




5) Me! - Some of you got here by actually looking for Queen Bea on purpose ... golf claps ...




4) Bob Bowersox - After 22 years with the Q, Bob was shown the door right before Christmas and made a huge leap into the top five. (The crazy looking picture is from the set of a movie he was in. I just thought it was funny!)




3) Patti Reilly - Patti, Patti, Patti ... she's leaving! she's not! she's leaving! she's not! I swear, the speculation will never end. In the very least, she has certainly dropped to part-time. I still say she's leaving.

2) Models Prefer and its founder, Stacey Schieffelin - Stacy was in the middle of a nasty lawsuit with QVC that led to a complete reinvention of the Models Prefer brand into ybf and a switch to HSN (all while keeping that famous eyebrow pencil and patented hair roller makeup-less face shtick in tact)

And number 1 for 2008 is ... drum roll please ...

1) Dave King!!!

Here today, gone tomorrow. This well-loved host just disappeared without a word from QVC--not even a Bob Bowersox-style hostage video. I guess they just figured no one would notice??? In any case, he had many fans who missed him and didn't appreciate the treatment he got.

Here's a great video of Dave, great host and an all-around stand up kind of guy:



You can also check him out in his new job as a consumer electronics expert here.

Jay King: Mine Find or Fake Find

Jay King will be appearing on HSN on Monday during their 24 Hour Silver Celebration and it looks like he even has the TS. I hope that they give him the opportunity to explain exactly what his highly controversial "stabilized block turquoise" really is.


Here are the definitions I found:

Stabilized or treated turquoise is treated with a plastic resin. Most nugget and some heishi products are made from real turquoise that has been stabilized. Stabilization allows genuine but lower-grade turquoise to be used in jewelry. Even when a stone has been stabilized, its color can be changed over time by pollution, soap, skin lotion and oil.

Block turquoise: A mixture of plastic resin and dyes that is produced in loaf-size blocks. This turquoise contains no actual rock of any sort. Block is used heavily for inlay, heishi and beads. It is sometimes mistakenly called "reconstituted."


So basically it has to be either stabilized or block, but it can NOT be both.

I hope this was simply an innocent error on the part of a product description writer and not an underhanded attempt to rip-off customers.

Please, please, please--for the sake of your reputation--address this issue!!!


Here's what Paul Deasy had to say about the controversy:

I must preface this by saying that I have not spoken to Jay King since I left HSN, and I am not familiar with what HSN is selling on the air as block turquoise. I find Jay to be a very reputable guy and I like him very much. That being said, the industry definition of "block turquoise" is not natural, but simulated turquoise using plastic or other materials that are not turquoise. If this in fact is what HSN is selling, they are obligated to disclose this information. I notice on their website that they describe the pieces as "stablized" block turquoise. Once again, I can't speak for them but stablized and block turquoise usually refer to two different things. Paul

Blue Plate Special Daily Round Up ... It's EVIL PAY DAY!!!

Woot! Woot! I loooooooooooooove 5 Evil Pay Day! I know that it's not really a sale, but it feels like a sale. What can I say, I'm a sucker. I have no idea what I'm going to get. Ugh! I always do this. I always crack under the pressure. I just know that they are going to present something tomorrow and I'm just going to kick myself for not thinking to get it today. Pressure ... pressure ... I'm like a Cook's Essentials pressure cooker!

The official QVC TSV is a 3-piece Supersmile kit ... but who cares? I mean really, it's evil pay day, chickadess! However, along with the Supersmile, there's a page full of other auto-delivery (AD) items that you can order and lock in the 5 evil pays--Dr. Denese, BE, Philosophy, Ojon. So if you need to stock up, now's the time.

Queen Bea needs to sit down and elevate her feet and try to get some air.

HSN has this hideous excuse for a Technibond ring as their TS. I like Techinbond, I really do. Gold is like $1000 per troy ounce or something ridiculously high like that, so buying solid gold jewelry is an investment (like the ShopNBC OTV today).

I like Technibond best when it's just big, bold gold, like omegas and cuffs. I do not like ugly, drill-bit diamond, and nasty gemstones that belong in the bottom of a fish tank--not to mention the overall hideousness of the design. Yuck. Sorry, but this is bad.

BTW, did you read what Paul Deasy had to say about Technibond now that he's no longer under HSN's thumb? Check it out here.

ShopNBC has this beautiful and very expensive ruby necklace. This is niiiiiiiiiiiiiice, but not gonna happen ... I just can't justify $1500 for a necklace. but don't those rubies just look juicy?

Don't forget free shipping on the All Stars products!

BTW, they are now offering a big selection of fragrances ... even Sarah Jessica Parker's Lovely. She's just not loyal to HSN at all. What was I thinking? She won't even show up to sell her own products

Paul Deasy Spills the Beans about Technibond!

Technibond. That word will cause fights to break out. It's a loaded word in certain circles. The best deal in gold jewelry or the biggest bunch of bubble-gum-machine-crap ever manufactured. Which is it???

Paul Deasy has spilled the beans on what really happened with the controversial line:

I was at HSN when technibond was originally launched. There have been many changes over the years. The first product was 18kt over sterling silver with a very thin polymer coating over top of that. This made it hypo-allergenic and helped to prevent the gold from coming off. This also is why the original product had a lifetime guarantee. Then somebody in their infinite wisdom decided to save money and not put the coating on. The resulting disaster nearly killed the product line. Then they fixed the problem for a couple of years. When I returned to HSN, they changed the formulation again and switched to 14kt gold over sterling silver. They also discontinued the guarantee. The bottom line? I figure that over time with wear the gold may begin to come off. That being said, I think for the price it is a pretty good value, especially with the cost of gold today. If you want something with a bit more gold over silver, always look for something classified as vermeil. That has a minimum standard (120 mils of gold over silver) and should last a bit longer.

And what does he think of QVC's plated jewelry lines?

I always liked the epiphany collection. Platinum clad over silver makes lots of sense to me, as far as helping anti tarnish. The only downside there, is when you are coating with platinum you can't size rings, but that is a very minor point. I like the veronese, but I admit I am not up to speed on what is the thickness of 18kt over the silver. I can find out, though, as I know very well the person who brought it to QVC.

So, in reality, EVERYONE WAS RIGHT! It really was that good and it really did get that bad. I just wish that these shopping channels would get it through their collective thick skulls that their customers aren't as dumb as they'd like to think they are (or wish they were anyway).

ETA: Click here to find out what Paul and Judy are up to now!

Paul & Judy ... Where Are They?

As we all know by now, power home shopping couple extraordinaire, Paul Deasy and Judy Crowell, are no longer at HSN or QVC. According to their new website, they just got back from a great trip to Italy and are working on a jewelry line and another book.

Here's what Paul had to say about both books and the new jewelry line:

The original quantities that were on HSN sold completely out. There will be a second printing, but for the moment I cannot sell it in the USA due to a non competition clause I still have with HSN. That will expire on November 30th. After that time, the original book and the second book will be available on this website and probably at another television shopping channel that I will choose to launch a new gemstone jewelry line.

I do have plans for silver and gold as part of my line. I would entertain gold over silver if I can find a factory that will do a minimum thickness of vermeil or better and guarantee their manufacturing process.

I am currently negotiating with a few shopping channels, but I have decided it will not be with HSN. When that decision is made, the gems would likely be offered on our website, but that depends on the shopping channel. Some do not like the same items being available for sale on the website as would be offered on their channel. I will keep you posted.

And to whether it was better to work at HSN or QVC:

That is a really difficult question. As you say, Judy and I have worked at both places and have many friends in both of them. That being said, I think that there are certain things about QVC that had a better interaction with the customer than did HSN. We also enjoyed the opportunities to do more remotes and live shows with QVC. We are not sure who we will be partnering with yet, but we hope to make a decision by this summer and we will let you know when we do.

I think that he like the Q better and I'm guessing that his new collection will end up on ShopNBC ... but you never know!

ETA: Click here to find out what Paul had to say about Technibond and the end of the lifetime warranty!