Home Shopping Cage Match ... After Dark!

Vote in the latest Home Shopping Cage Match!!!

This time, we're closing the blinds and getting naughty with intimate apparel. Home shopping doesn't need Bob's the kitchen to get things hot and steamy!

Whose bra lifts the girls and gives you rockin' cleavage? Whose shapewear smooths out that muffin top?

Do you like to breathe easy with the Gendel ladies and their UlimAir lined Breezies?

Maybe you prefer Dr. Rey's more ... ummm ... "hands-on" approach.

Or perhaps you like to stay up all night watching Rhonda Shear.

Cast your vote at the top of the left-hand column.

Patti is Playing Head Games

First, Patti's leaving ("former QVC host" meta tag controversy), then she's not so sure (vague blog announcements and scattered part-time on-air hours), but then she finally pinky swears that she's absolutely positively officially staying with QVC as a full-time host (the big announcement).

However, nothing with Patti is ever simple. This much I know.

Patti just posted a professionally produced demo reel on You Tube with her contact information included in the video. Why? She's not looking for a job anymore. She's not, right? Right???

I think Patti's just toying with us at this point. She's swirl, tap, buffing my brain!

Watch it for yourself:




Is she just looking for some additional gigs on the side? Wouldn't she do that more subtly through her representation?

Patti better be careful because I do know that QVC is actively looking for new hosts. You can watch all sorts of entertaining audition tapes from hosting hopefuls on You Tube.

However, some of the auditioners are going the more traditional route with professional representation (although some of these places look a little sleazy--I don't want anything those half-nekkid ladies are selling!)

If you think you have what it takes, here's what the Q wants in a new host. It states that they are looking for men or women, but I've heard that they really want a woman. Sorry guys! Although I have to give props to Rick for not only being able to pull off a jewelry show, but he even had to do a Breezies bra presentation recently. Only a real man can sell bras on television!

The starting pay ain't to shabby either ... hey, I'm a woman and I can talk ...

Bras by the Truckload!

Ever wonder where all those eBay Power Sellers get all that QVC merchandise? Did it fall off a truck? Employee theft? Fakes?

Nope.

QVC sells all their customer returns, damaged, and overstock/discontinued items themselves on their own website: QVCliquidation.com.

Yes, there are good deals to be had, but you have to buy it by the pallet.

For example, you can buy 749 Breezies bras for only $3,941.09. That's like $5.26 per bra.

That's a lot of bras, y'all!!!

HSN After Dark ... Not Safe for Kids or Husbands!

HSN seems to be getting all kinds of risque lately. I was accustomed to the Rhonda "Up All Night!" Shear presentations being a tad ... ummm ... titillating, but Rhonda can get away with it because, well, just cause she's all sorts of awesomeness and I love watching her.

But then Dr. 90210 came skipping into town with his shapewear overflowing with cleavage and his touchy-feely hands all over the models. Yuck. I know being a plastic surgeon he's used to being "hands on," but it's just icky on television.




And now we have IT Cosmetics boobs-in-a-box to get the illusion of big, Texas-sized bazoombas by drawing them on. HSN might attract more viewers with all this gratuitous boobage, but they won't be the kind that actually buy anything. And now I'm beginning to feel a bit inadequate and insecure, which I guess is the idea.



Oh well, Queen Bea is just gonna roll up her boobs and stuff them into her Breezies bra with UltimAir lining and be done with it. Humph!

Blue Plate Special Daily Round Up ... the Calm After the Evil Pay Storm

Take a deep breath ................. now exhale! Evil pay day is over. Time to step into the recovery room.

QVC has a Breezies bra TSV that's supposed to keep you cool in the sweltering heat of summer. I wonder if that UltimAir lining really can keep the girls cool ... that sure would be nice. If you haven't noticed, it's hotter than hades out there lately.

The bra is also seamless, so it's supposed to look better under those thin, knit tops and also help with those unsightly back fat bulges. Considering that I just bought a bra that makes me look like I have 4 boobs, I might want to look closer at this one.

Don't forget that RLM will be on with some new pieces today! I thought about getting that Forgive/Forget ring, but then I realized that every time I looked at it, I would be reminded of who I was mad at and why! Read about Robert and the Olsen twins here.

HSN has a JVC 35xzoom flas memory camcorder for their TS. Using a memory card would be soooo much easier than that stupid, pain-in-the-arse digital tape I have to use in my camcorder.

Ken Paves, you know that cute little blond guy with the funny voice that is Jessica Simpson's hairstylist, will be coming out with a line of hair care products June 24 called Healthy Hair to add to the hair extensions line, hairdo. I'm always so tempted to buy that fake hair, but then I always geek out and cancel. I don't think that I'm responsible enough to take care of fake hair--it would turn into a rat's nest for sure.

ShopNBC has a beautifully-designed diamond ring for their OTV. The diamonds are so-so, but overall it's a beautiful ring. not gonna spend $900 for it, but I like it. Not bad Chuck Clemency!

Calm selections for our calm post-evil-pay-day recovery. Breathe, chickadees, breathe!