Saturday, March 8, 2014

Josie Maran: Sex, Love, and Argan Oil


Are you tired of hearing the Josie “AAArrraaahhgan Oil” Maran story about meeting the 127-year-old woman with skin as smooth as a baby’s bum? Maybe we should cut her some slack. Maybe Josie’s lived a very boring, sheltered life and just doesn’t have any other tales to tell? Oh my, my, my … turns out she has many stories from her past that are way more colorful.


Maybe she could regale us with tales of working for the world famous boy band, the Backstreet Boys. Josie played the love interest of heartthrob Howie in the music video for “Everybody,” which is a dangerous thing to do. If those hoards of little 13-year-old boy band fans think you might be getting your dirty paws on one of their boys, they are more vicious than David Venable guarding the last bowl of mac and cheese! But what did she really think of them?

“I also appeared in an old Backstreet Boys video where Howie is a vampire sucking blood from my neck. It was really sexy, kind of an orgasm scene. There was controversy because Backstreet Boys fans thought that I must be his girlfriend. He had to go out onstage and say, ‘That wasn’t my girlfriend in the video.’ He did ask me for my number, though. I said no. They’re nice guys, but butt ugly. And they weren’t all that famous yet, either. I really hate their music, especially when you have to hear it all the time.” Maxim August 2000

Ouch! But unlike most people in the fashion and beauty industry, at least Josie has always been honest about her shallowness!

“I'm really shallow when I come to guys. I only date really good looking, well-endowed guys, with great bodies. My friends are always going on at me. I'm like "I can't help it! I'm just a woman with high standards!" – IMDB





Or perhaps we could listen to a little ol’ radio program called The Howard Stern Show (part 1, part 2). Back in 2000, Josie made an appearance on the show, known for decades to be raunchy, disgusting, and over-the-top, with her then live-in boyfriend, magician David Blaine.

David Blaine
Fiona Apple

Josie and David met on the set of a Fiona Apple video shoot. He was dating Fiona and Josie was working as a stand in for her. The two girls look very similar, so apparently, David has a type. Probably he was just looking for a less crazy version.

Now if you agree to talk to Howard Stern, you know what you’re signing up for. Being the boring schlub that I am, I would be forced to make something up … like how I like to be flogged with a Quaker Factory rainbow sparkle shirt while I stuff myself with gluten free muffins (doesn’t everyone???). During the interview, Josie and David discuss—among many other thingshow they used to get busy eight times a day, but now it’s down to just twice a day, how they’re really into spanking (especially in restaurants? I didn’t quite understand that bit!), and all about the hot tub three-ways they enjoy with her model friends. Seriously. I don’t care what or who you’re into doing. Really, I don’t. Have at it! But broadcasting it to the world? I don’t get that. Maybe she just got caught up in the moment or was under the spell of the magician. Howard did keep asking her if she was high, so maybe that was the problem (although she emphatically denied it).

In all fairness, her original aspiration before the model/actress/beauty product career was to be a sex therapist.

“I wanted to be a sex therapist—a hipper Dr. Ruth. I’ve never had a boring conversation about sex. When you talk about sex, people come alive. My friends told me, ‘You know, guys are going to come to talk about their wives, but then they’re going to want to sleep with you.’ I figured I’d just wear a bag over my head.” – IMDB

And to do lots of hands-on research for the job.

“My dream is to have sex twice a day. Every time I get into bed, I want it.” – Maxim August 2000

Lawdy, I don’t think that I could handle that much Quacker Factory shirt flogging and gluten free muffin eating.

Josie also got in hot water over some naughty farm girl photos. According to an article in Gene Simmons’ Tongue (is that really a thing?), Maran almost lost her contract with Maybelline over a racy photo shoot she did for Sisley involving farm animals (Check out the pictures here. They aren’t porn, but definitely not Maybelline clean.)

Since then, it seems like Josie has tried to clean up her act a bit. She played sultry vampire Marishka opposite Hugh Jackman in in the movie Van Helsing, and played Mia in the video game Need for Speed: Most Wanted (yes, video games use live actors now). She also did a stint on Dancing with the Stars, but unfortunately for Josie, she was the first one to get the boot.

Josie also has a documentary coming out called Where the Sun Kisses the Ocean with fellow QVC vendor Joan Rivers. Described on IMDB as, “Stunning sky beautiful ocean stirring music and poetry weave together to take you on a journey that will leave you uplifted and open your hart [sic].” 

Hey, she’s always been a nature lover!

“I like to hang out with monkeys. I've always had a fascination with them. I feel like I'm very close to the monkey species because I like to play in the trees and get dirty. I have some friends — some chimps — in Malibu that I go and hang out with that are pretty interesting.” – Esquire,May 2004 

I have to agree with her. Animals are my favorite people.

Josie is currently married to photographer Ali Alborzi. They have two daughters, Rumi Joon, born on June 20, 2006 and Indi Joon, born on July 1, 2012. She discusses her home births in a recent People article, sparking endless mommy wars on the safety of home births.

So, next time it’s a full hour of Josie Maran Cosmetics on QVC, and she breaks into that same old lady with the great skin tale, just think about one of these more entertaining stories to get you through!

Bonus home shopping tie-in: In 2004, Josie was in the band “Darling” with fellow QVC vendor, Nicole Richie. Doesn’t look like much of anything came of the venture though.



4 comments:

  1. Ok, I'm days late and a dollar short...but thanks Queen Bea for giving me a place to say this.
    I am a cosmetologist. I have studied skin, as.well as hair, to get my license. Argan oil is a big fad. It does no more for the skin than baby oil...although is probably less toxic due to the fact that baby oil is scented mineral oil.
    DON'T PUT ARGAN OIL ON YOUR HAIR. DON'T PUT ANY OIL ON YOUR HAIR. OIL IS BAD FOR HAIR. IT CAUSES DRYNESS AND BREAKAGE.If your hair is dry, use MOISTURIZING CONDITONER.
    As for your skin, olive oil is just as good, if not better,than argan oil. Cheaper,too. And, if your argan oil is cut with mineral oil.....well, you were ripped off. Use it on your skin if your skin is very dry. But keep in mind, it's a fad. It's already getting much less attention. The main thing is, use common sense; don't follow fads.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great advice...gotta remember no oil on hair. Not impressed with argan oil anything.
    And holy jeebus! Can Maran keep her pants on long enough to sell it?!? Always thought she was a bit skanky. Eeeeeew...don't want any stuff from her.

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