Ever since Sheila "small, medium, and lonely" Johnson ... ummm ... "left" the Q, I haven't had nearly enough home shopping host train wreck entertainment. That is until I had a bad case of insomnia the other night and caught a glimpse of Candice "super friggin cute" Kumai on HSN.
Oh my ... I don't even know where to begin. Describing purses as crow-co embowsed (no, chickadees, not croco-embossed!) ... calling Regis Philbin, Reggis (like Reggie, but with an "s"). And don't forget to get that crow-co embowsed bag in her favorite color, towp (that's taupe for the Candice-impaired—don't worry, I had to look it up myself).
And then there's the Paris-Hilton-esque descriptions (the ones she's not reading straight off the item description card) ... Super friggin cute! Jesus, I love that! You can totally call in now! That's a great, easy purchase right there. Faaaaab-u-lous! Super unique! This is sooo hot right now.
Seriously, HSN, you need to train this girl! Actually, don't. This is waaaaay entertaining!
Favorite quote (so far!) "I'm thinking people that have a hot bod and want to dress it up and go out on the town. Well, if you don't have the right jewelry, accessories, or handbags … and shoes at that … uh-uh … people are going to notice!"
Ain't that the truth! Queen Bea's Spanx-wrapped bod is soooo friggin hot, but no one ever seems to notice. Must be carrying the wrong bag.
BTW, you must, must, must read the interview Candice did after Top Chef here. She is going to be the Martha Stewart of her generation, only new skool, tacky, and cheesy (her words and spelling, not mine).
And, yes, I know being a host is not easy, but even Queen Bea has standards.
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Shawn Killinger and Patti Reilly qualify as trainwrecks! Fun to watch, too.
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