The Gift That She Is

So Paula was on HSN quite a bit this weekend. I for one was completely disappointed. She was relatively coherent (for Paula--it's all relative people!) and no major incidents occurred that I saw. I'm so disappointed.

Yes, she had her usual slow, deliberate, slurred Anna-Nicole-style speech pattern, but I'm pretty sure that I detected actual nouns and verbs in her sentences. Although I did notice that her hands seemed to shake uncontrollably when she was holding the jewelry for a closeup, which isn't funny in the slightest. It's actually very, very sad.

The hosts also took great pains to not only keep Paula focused on the task at hand, but to treat her "like the gift that she is." The ridiculous amount of personal compliments, the fawning over her products, and the sucking-up all seemed like blatant ego stroking and made the hosts look like a bunch of silly sycophants.

I loved how they were selling her picture with a "signature" on it. Not an autograph, just a printed on signature. Awesome! I'm sure it will make a great present for that someone special. The coup de grace, however, was when they offered the big surprise Estaban "Tribute to Paula Abdul" guitar. It's like HSN is trying to make fun of itself.

At least I have American Idol to look forward to!!!

Today's Blue Plate Specials ... Caution! Crashing Computers!

QVC's TSV is a Click Free Automatic Backup 160GB External Hard Drive. I'm guessing today we will be regaled with many tales of computer crashing woe. If only, if only, they would have had an external hard drive all those precious family pictures wouldn't all be lost forever. Forever!

This one is supposed to be for the technically impaired *cough*queen bea*cough* and somewhat idiot proof (no comments from the peanut gallery, chickadees!) Seriously though, Mr. Queen Bea--who is much more technically savvy--wants me to let y'all know that this is a "heck of a deal!"



HSN's TS is an Esteban Celebration Fireworks 30-piece Guitar Collection. There's all sorts of controversy on the Interenet about Esteban. Is he what he claims to be or is he a made up character used to sell cheap guitars? I don't know. I do know that I don't like the fireworks design on this particular guitar and I'll leave it at that.

Check out the presale on the Vivitar 5MP Digital Video Camera with 1GB SD Card and Case and there's also free shipping on most sewing machines.


The ShopNBC OTV is an Android Men's or Women's Black Abyss Ultra-Thin Quartz Ceramic Watch. Surprise, surprise ... another watch! ShopNBC has been all over this ceramic watch trend. At about $167, this isn't too bad for a water-resistant watch with a ceramic band, mother-of-pearl face, and sapphire crystal. This watch might be good if you're hard on your watches, but still want to look all fancy (here's your red dress, Fancy don't let me down! sorry ... Queen Bea just had a Reba moment).