Home Shopping Speed Dating

Now that homeschool is off of Spring break and back in session, Queen Bea has less time and energy to post all those funny and acerbic home shopping rants that you all have come to love ... or at least tolerate. So in an effort to prevent Queen Bea from taking another extended spectacle, here is a quick rundown of just some of the home shopping madness that has already started to pile up in the inbox.



Three things about this video: 1) I think Jeanne Bice and Isaac Mizrahi were separated at birth, 2) Jeanne sure knows how to make an entrance, and 3) what is up with the constant flow of IsaacMizrahiLive! TSV's? I realize that the Q dumped a lot of money into him--even building Isaac his own special studio--but too much of a good thing is never good. Let me break it down into simple home shopping terms: Even though Queen Bea would love to sit on the couch all day an eat an entire Isaac Mizrahi designed Junior's cheesecake while watching a Golden Girls marathon, doing so would make her feel very sick and not fit into her pants the next day.


QVC is looking for a real life doctor to pitch health and beauty products for them--actors need not apply. Could this be in response to the recent QVC-Andrew Lessman lawsuit? Interesting.


Pat James-Dementri's ex-husband, Vince Dementri, just got a new broadcasting job.Seems like this particular station is starting a rehab program for wayward newscasters. If you haven't already, check out what happened at his last job here.


Queen Bea has been a fan of QVC fashion designer Chloe Dao ever since her Project Runway days. However, in a recent interview Chloe Dao said that her high-end collection only goes to a size 10. Considering that the average American woman is a size 12/14, that really stinks. Apparently, only skinny rich ladies are welcome.


Liz Lange, that designer with the awesome maternity clothes line at Target, just launched a line of clothes on HSN for all us un-pregnant folks to enjoy. I love her Target stuff, so I'm holding out hope for this one.


QVC issed $500 million in bonds in order to pay down some bank debt. I will not pretend to be an expert on these types of financial dealings, but from what I read at several different sources, they are being described as "junk bonds." I guess Easy Pay only goes so far.


QVC's parent company, Liberty Media, was looking to buy HSN later this year (for real--read it here), but HSN's stock has been doing so well lately--up 50% since just January--that they might prove to big to buy.


Massillon Cable TV and Clear Picture were recently selected to receive $25,000, the grand prize in the 2009 QVC Affiliate Cross Channel Promotion Program for promoting QVC throughout the year. And do you know what they did with the prize? They donated it all to charities in their community. Good for them!!! In this day of corporate greed, it's wonderful to see a company do something so generous.


Sonia Bitton--whose name I love to try to say in her distinctive accent--launched a new website SoniaBLive.com where you can purchase daily and weekly specials of her high-end jewelry. Sonia Bitton has long been a staple jewelry designer at ShopNBC, but her luxury baubles did not match up with the new lower price point that ShopNBC was aiming for. Since the split from ShopNBC, Sonia has been on QVC-UK and even an Australian home shopping channel where she worked with none other than Queen Bea's favorite host--Charla Rines! Oh, Charla, how I miss you so! (I love Sonia and Charla, but why are they selling the Tacori Harlequin ring in Australia? Look for yourself! What's going on here?)

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QVC's Runway to Reality

QVC dipped their toes into the shark-infested waters of high fashion last fall at Bryant Park. The waters must have felt good because this time they are diving in head first.

According to FabSugar.com, the Q will be showing its new Spring lines at Bryant Park on February 14th during New York Fashion Week.

While all the other designers showcase their latest creations to a bunch of self-important buyers and beauty editors, QVC lets the people decide. Yeah! Power to the people! We don't have to wait for some fashion buyer to bring a particular trendy item into their stores months from now, we can order it immediately--and probably on Easy Pay too.

QVC will showcase its higher-end designer lines like Simply by Chloe Dao (a Project Runway alum) and M by Marc Bouwer--sorry all you Quackers out there! I still cling to the hope that one fateful day, I will witness a Fiber Optic Lighted Frosty the Snowman sweater embellished with sequins and rhinestones strutting down the runway. Quack! Quack!

The Q will also unveil some new designer lines such as A List by Alvin Valley (dubbed the King of Pants by Vogue) and Logo by Lori Goldstein.

Between this and the Sterling Designer Day coming up this Saturday, I'm going to need to find my own economic stimulus package.

Runway to the Q

The guys at Project RunGay decided that Laura Bennett needed her gays for support to get through her QVC show the other night. They also managed to get some great behind-the-scenes pics while they were there. I just love getting a look backstage!

Here's Laura posing with hostess extraordinaire, Lisa Robertson. By the looks of the two of them, I'm guessing that piling on lots of long necklaces is the trend now. Am I right? I'll have to break out my Vogue to make sure. Not that I can pull off the look anyway. Every time I attempt it, I just manage to look like a chubby white girl Mr. T! Ugh!




Glammed-up Laura with Chloe Dao, another great Project Runway alum. As we all know, the path to QVC runs straight through Project Runway!




And, just in case you've never seen it, this is the Q's lobby. It's ... ummm ... red. Really red.



Be sure to check out the Project RunGay blog for all the dirt, y'all!

Shopping Around ... Too Cool for School

• For just a split second, I thought this was real: The Home Shopping Network Introduces Talking Presidential Candidate Doll® Collection. Hey, I’ve come to expect anything from the company that sells Banana Bunkers!

• Wanna be an easy rider? Enter the QVC Orange County Choppers Sweepstakes. The Grand Prize is $10,000 cash plus an Orange County Choppers bike that will signed by Paul Teutul Sr., Paul Teutul Jr., and Mikey Teutul and has an engraving that has "QVC Inaugural Show October 9, 2008" on it. You know, you just can't get much cooler than having QVC engraved on your bike. Good grief! Who made that decision? Probably the same guy that likes to put "DMQ" on the face of all the Diamonique watches. QVC has improved by leaps and bounds, but don't kid yourselves, QVC is still not considered cool.

• HSN is also having their own Great Gift Giveaway. Although I still haven't figured out exactly what they are giving away exactly.

• Kim Parrish--of the Kim Parrish Collection on HSN and former QVC host--will be touring around the country giving workshops for Miss America's Outstanding Teen to give contestants inside look into the organization and the acting/audition process. Maybe she'll find the next VP candidate? You never know!

• You might want to read this before you go investing in all those gold coins sold on home shopping. Basically, buy what you like, don't buy because you probably won't get a huge ROI if you ever decide to sell them.

• I looove Project Runway, so it's only fitting that I love all the PR alums that come to QVC. Chole Dao was one of--if not the--first to do this. Dao says her pieces on QVC typically sell out. "It was scary because you don't think you can sell 10,000 units of anything, but I do," she said. Not only are her pieces selling out on QVC, she's also got her own line of electronic accessories at Verizon, she’s a spokesperson for Dove, and she's got some higher-end fancy duds on her website. Check ‘em out!

• It's not on her website yet, but Lori Greiner's upcoming TSV for November 9th looks like it's da bomb, baby! This absolutely ginormous jewelry cabinet swivels 360 degrees and can hold up to 700 pieces of jewelry and it opens up into a 3-way mirror. Although I do not enjoy looking at my bra bulges and muffin top in a 3-way mirror, I do appreciate the huge jewelry storage capacity. Here's a picture from The Insider:
  
  

Speaking of The Insider, when in the heck is QVC gonna wise up and start giving out free subscriptions for its most loyal customers? If you spend over a certain amount of money with QVC, wouldn't it behoove them to extend this mere pittance of a gesture of goodwill? It could even be an online copy. In fact, I would probably prefer that.

Fashion Smashion Day

So I'm not going to say that I sat around and watched all 24 hours of QVC's Fashion Day, but I did catch bits and pieces of it throughout the day.

And I wasn't impressed.

To me, Fall Fashion Day should be like thumbing through those perfume-infused glossy pages of the gargantuan September issue of Vogue (oh my ... be still my beating heart!)

Obviously, the fashions would have to be brought down to reality since most of us aren't millionaire super models, but it should have that feel.

Instead of getting excited about all the new trends, I found myself bored with the usual suspects. The only exception would be Chloe Dao who injected some fresh ideas in an otherwise dull day.

QVC Powers That Be, please think September Vogue when putting together Fall Fashion Day. It should be about new, fresh, trendy pieces so we don't look like tired old soccer moms!!!

Another Project Runway Alum is "In" at QVC

Move over Chloe Dao and Laura Bennett ... Jay McCarroll, winner of season 1 of Project Runway (have I mentioned how much I love this show?!?!?), will be the next Project Runway designer to jump into the murky mass-market waters of QVC.

Why? Well, he’s rather blunt about it: money and the fact that he’s not a fan of the celebrity fashion industry (probably after Heidi Klum ditched his red carpet dress, that he spent forever making, at the last minute--remember that???).

“I’m not one for glamour or red carpet stuff or sexy crap,” he said. “I definitely want people to have my product and I definitely want it to be affordable — there’s better things to spend money on than something disposable. I make stuff for every day, every woman kind of thing; I grew up that way. I grew up loving the sale rack at Gap and going to Sears.”

That's why I love Jay! He just says it like it is. Most of us aren't sitting around in our Cartier and Dolce & Gabbana. Queen Bea is a TJ Maxx and Target kind of a girl!

Since turning down the $100,000 Project Runway prize (yes! he really turned it down, but he won't talk about it.), Jay has moved to Philadelphia, opened a boutique, filmed a documentary, and even taught at Philadelphia University … but he’s not rollin’ in the dough yet.

"I hope QVC will be a good thing and afford me some financial freedom to do other projects.”

I don’t have any pictures of the new line yet, but there is supposed to be a color-block coat, a beaded sweater, a pair of jeans, a jean jacket, and a tunic dress. And I’m sure we’ll see some of his signature circles. Here's a look at his most recent ready-to-wear line. This isn't what's going to be on the Q, but it might help give you an idea of what to expect:




You buy his line of tees and totes now on his website.

His fashion trend prediction for this year?

"I don’t follow any trends. I say where whatever the f*** you want to wear. Do you want me to make up fun trends for you? Everyone should be wearing stains. Stains on their shirts."

So there you have it … time to rock the baby puke and spaghetti stains, chickadees!!!

Here's the trailer for his documentary, Eleven Minutes. It's all about the thousands of hours of work that go into those quick runway shows. If you like Project Runway, Jay, and fashion, this is for you (and trust me, Jay never fails to entertain):

And you can read about Jay going to the QVC Guest Excellence Seminar at Cathie Filian's blog here. What I wouldn't give to be a little Queen Bea on the wall during that seminar!